Responsibility
by BlairCorneliaBass
Summary: What would have happened if Blair had really been pregnant in Season 1? Based slightly off of the situation between Puck,Quinn, and Finn from Glee.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So I went on a major Glee-watching-marathon the other day, and got inspired to write this. The situation between Quinn, Puck, and Finn reminded me a lot of Blair, Chuck, and Nate in the first season, and I think this is really how things would have played out had Blair actually been pregnant. I don't think it's my best work exactly, but forgive me, I just really want to go with this idea. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Deal With the Devil, I'm updating that next. :)

Oh and this chapter has a bit of an M-rated scene, but the rest of the story most likely won't.

**Responsibility**

"I'm not pregnant."

The squeals of joy pealed from the other side of the phone so much that she had to hold the device away from her ear for a moment. She knew right now Serena would be jumping up and down ecstatically, all her previous worries erased in a second with the simple sentence, like a child accepts words for truth implicitly.

If only she could do the same.

"I'm so happy," she gushed. "I would have had no idea what to wear to a paternity hearing!"

She swallowed hard, holding back tears. She had to just get through this conversation and then no one would ever know.

"Clean slate?" she asked in a controlled voice, referring to the arguments they'd been having the past few days about this entire matter.

"Clean slate," Serena agreed happily. "Oh, I'm so happy; see you at school!"

The other line clicked off, and Blair closed the phone quietly. She let out a long sigh to the silence of her bathroom, which quickly turned to panicked gasps, and then finally broken sobs.

It took nearly an hour but when it was over, she wiped the moisture from her cheeks, threw the white stick with the pink plus sign into the trash, and began getting ready for the day.

*****

She walked to school cool and collected. There would be no more drama anymore; Serena would not mention the episode ever again and by the end of the day she would have an appointment so that _she_ would never have to talk of it again.

Memories, of course, would never be silenced. But she would do what she had to.

She should have known God was out to punish her for her decision since _he_ was standing outside the school gates, smoking a cigarette with his stupid checkered scarf. How she would love to wrap it around his neck until he choked.

She increased the speed of her gait as she passed by him, hoping that he would simply continue on with his nicotine inhalation- that disgusting habit alone should confirm that she was doing the right thing. Unfortunately, she saw from the corner of her eye as she walked into the gates of the school him immediately putting out his cigarette.

"Don't stop on my account," she said coolly, continuing to walk towards the main building.

"Oh I have to," he replied, catching up to her strides from behind and placing a hand on her elbow. "Secondhand smoke is bad for the-"

She whirled around, eyes wide and full of betrayal. She knew Serena had been hounding her about all of this, but she didn't think that she would go behind her back to tell Chuck without her knowledge. Not that it mattered; it just meant one more person to lie to.

"I'm not pregnant," she bit out forcefully. She then quirked her lips in a sarcastic smile. "If I were you, I would have rode me a little harder."*

He raised an eyebrow, brushing a hand against her stomach. "I'll keep that in mind for next time," he leered.

She immediately took a step back from his roving fingers. They, and her unexplainable reactions to them, were the cause of all this. And thank God there was no swelling yet. "There will never be a next time, and you can't be touching me."

He smirked, as if he knew the effect he had on her. "You can't be serious."

As a matter of fact, life had just made her entire outlook a whole lot more serious.

"I am," she emphasized, watching his face as it took in her words. "You have no place in my life anymore, Chuck. You lost; game over."

"The game's not over til I say it is," he parried, tone hardening.

Blair was trying to keep up a solid front, but found herself closing her eyes to gain control of her emotions. She did not need to deal with this. God knew she had enough on her plate as it is. Amazing how her life could be flipped upside down in one morning.

"Maybe there's more at stake than just a game, did you ever think of that?" She shoved him away and began hurriedly climbing the steps to the school. The girls' bathroom was located just inside of the building, and for the first time, she rushed in and emptied the contents of her stomach without her own volition.

And as she sat on the cold floor of the bathroom stall, she could not help the flood of memories that rushed at her from the encounter.

_"Chuck," she moaned his name, rocking her hips steadily against his. She couldn't count on her fingers anymore how many times they'd done this now, and she found she couldn't care less because she never wanted it to stop._

_"Just like that, Blair," he told her, eyes closed in obvious enjoyment of her motions. She grinned, feeling slight conceit that she made the great Chuck Bass, sexual connosiuer of the Upper East Side and all, weak with her prowess and coming back for more every night. Who knew one could go from virgin to vixen in one month under the tutelage of one Chuck Bass?_

_"Deeper, Chuck," she requested breathily, even if she was in the dominant position. She drew her nails down his chest. "Harder."_

_"Whatever you need, beautiful," he complied, shoving his hips up to meet hers in almost a jarring motion, but it was just right to finally tip her over into glorious euphoria._

_When her body stopped shaking and her breaths had calmed, she looked up to see that she had sent him to oblivion and he had yet to recover. She grinned, again satisfied at feeling like some kind of sexual goddess for affecting him this way. _

_She slid her body off of his unconscious one, and slid her hand down to take off the condom. He was so insistent all the time about it- who knew Chuck Bass would be so responsible?_

_But as her hand touched it, she immediately felt something was off. Her eyes slammed down to see the small break on the tip of the condom._

_Her breathing escalated once more as an intial panic tore through her. It was the first time this had ever happened, to her knowledge anyway. She wasn't usually the one to discard the protection once they were finished._

_But it was just a small hole. There was no way that it would have..._

_She quickly got out of his bed and threw it away in the trash. It would never happen. Blair Waldorf's life might be changing from the plan she'd had for it for the past seventeen years, but that life would never include getting pregnant by Chuck Bass._

_And as if to prove her point, she got dressed and left his suite immediately after, while he still lay on the bed completely unaware._

Now as she washed her mouth out in the school bathroom sink, her mind echoed Serena's words about going to a paternity hearing. There wouldn't have been a need for such a thing, because she knew exactly who the father was. One time with Nate with protection; too many to count with Chuck, and at least one break. Yet she felt that even without that knowledge, she would know from the sick feeling in her stomach whose it was.

And that was exactly why she would get rid of it.

* One of Leighton's famous ad-libs during that scene. I loved it and couldn't help but put it in.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thanks so much for the wonderful response, I don't know why but I didn't love how the first chapter came out so I felt kind of nervous about the story. And I'm going to update my other stories, I swear, I just got the plotline fully set in my head for this story, so I'm kind of excited to write it. Thanks again!

Chapter 2

Chuck watched the students milling about the school courtyard, making their way to class. She had ran off just seconds before, spitting out her angry words at him without mercy.

_"You have no place in my life anymore Chuck."_

_"You lost."_

_"Game over." _

She was such a bitch. He had been over it- had no problem with her going back to her perfect white knight again, until Serena visited him last night. Until she told him that Blair was pregnant.

Of course, he was no longer the only person who knew what it felt like to be inside Blair Waldorf anymore. It could very well have been Archibald's. Because Chuck had _always_ been careful about these things; he knew more than anyone what it felt like to be unwanted from birth, and he sure as hell wouldn't inflict that on any child of his.

But accidents always happened. And the bad outcomes usually happened to him.

Would this have really been a bad outcome though?

He swallowed hard, remembering how nervous he'd been that morning, going through half a pack of cigarettes for breakfast. He wouldn't deny that a large part of him was more than relieved to hear that she wasn't pregnant. But, it had been such a strange concept to ponder all morning- the possibility that at the moment, he could be a _father_.

Not to mention, if it had been his, he would have _owned_ Blair Waldorf. She could resist all she wanted, but he would forever have had a place in her life after that.

This reminded him once more of the words she had thrown at him. He held up his phone, thinking of the delicious humiliation he could inflict on her with one tip to Gossip Girl. He didn't have to name his involvement in it, just say that two guys had rumpled Snow White's sheets in one week. He could get out of it unscathed.

But it was Blair's last line that really got to him.

_"Maybe there's more at stake than just a game, did you ever think of that?"_

He was sure that that was all about her precious Nathaniel. Of course what she had with _him_ would never be considered just a game, whereas that was all she thought they'd had together.

How could he see so well a person who didn't see anything at all? And more importantly why did he have to feel this way about her when she was such a damn bitch?

Maybe it was the look in her eyes when she said it, the slight tremor of her voice, the way she'd ran away. Chuck was certainly no scholar, but over the last few weeks he'd gotten very used to studying Blair Waldorf's face, and he had never seen that particular expression on it before. It had lasted for just a second, but it had been enough to stop him from following after her.

She was terrified.

His lips turned down in a displeased frown. He still seethed from her cruel rejection, and so much of him burned to see her taken down. But as he held his phone, his fingers carressing the keys in deliberation, he found that he just couldn't do it.

He sighed in disgusted exasperation at himself as he stuck his phone back in his pocket. This was exactly why he didn't do that whole emotions thing. They just fucked people up.

*****

The next few days were quiet. Chuck had always found school to be horrendously boring, but it seemed like the next few days were beyond his tolerance.

That was his excuse for watching her all the time.

Not that he _liked_ her still- he was so over Blair Waldorf. Didn't care at all what she did with herself.

She just happened to be more interesting than anything else right now.

And was it his fault that he could see through her better than anyone else? Was it a problem that he was the only one to see that something was not quite right in the world of Blair Waldorf?

She was a good actress, he would give her that. Not many others would see behind her calm smile- he was sure that Nate didn't see anything wrong with her. They continued to flaunt their love in the school courtyard for all to see, looking like blissful lovebirds without a care in the world. This was why he would never do those trite couple acts like holding hands, gooey pet names for each other- it was disgusting for everyone else around them. Of course, maybe he was biased towards the couple in question, but still...

It was in the small things, as always. The way her foot tapped incessantly during on of their morning meetings in the hall. She started biting her nails, something Blair Waldorf had _never _done before. Every night her friends went out to their regular places, yet she wasn't with them. When she happened to walk around alone at school- the look on her face.

And when he noticed the amount of times she snuck away to the bathroom at school, he felt a different kind of worry for her.

What was happening in her life that it would bring up _that_ again for her?

Chuck was starting to feel bothered, because he was sure it was her guilty conscience that was doing this to her. For what _they_ had done. She was sure that he would tell Nathaniel.

He was not a good guy who always did the right thing- far from it- but if it was making her make herself throw up about it, he would set her mind at ease.

At the end of the school day, he strolled over to Constance, ready to relieve her worries. However, when he'd arrived near her locker, he saw that Nate was already there.

"I thought you wanted to go," he heard Nate say from the nook in the corner he'd stopped at.

"I know," came her placating reply. Chuck stuck his head out just enough to watch them without calling attention to himself. Nate had an arm wrapped loosely around her waist and her hands were on his chest. "I did want to, but I told you I'm busy." She sighed, and he could tell she really was disappointed. "Bring me with you next time."

Nate brushed his hand up and down her arm, looking at her a little petulantly. "What's so important that you can't come with me to see my dad?"

Chuck's eyes narrowed on her face in surprise. Because he was sure that before all of this, only the apocalypse would have prevented Blair Waldorf from a chance for Archibald to lean on her for something like this.

She sighed again, looking down, and he could see her eyebrows furrow in tension. "I have... a doctor's appointment."

Nate shook his head in slight exasperation. "And you can't schedule one for some other time?"

She looked up at him and smiled that calm smile. "It's to make sure I'm in perfect health for the SATs in a few weeks. I need to get immunizations now so it has time to work." Her throat swallowed and she cupped his face in her hands. "This is important. This is for my future."

Nate raised an eyebrow, still looking like he disagreed with her decision. But he nodded his head and kissed her forehead. "Alright, I'll bring you next time. Maybe it's best if the first time's alone anyway. I'll call you later, okay?"

She smiled slightly and Nate walked away, most likely thinking that his girlfriend was just that obsessive compulsive.

Chuck knew better.

Immediately Blair grabbed her bag and began walking hurriedly out the door. Chuck could have let it go. Perhaps it was the right thing to do- respect her privacy.

But when did Chuck Bass ever do the right thing?

He followed her soon after she left, watched her as she walked through the gates of the school and turned left. Away from her house. He got in his limo and told the driver to follow after her.

After a few blocks, she stepped quickly into a store. Chuck looked at the sign above it. That was when he really knew something was wrong.

Because, good god, what would ever make her step into a McDonalds?

She was only in there for five minutes, and when she stepped out there was no bag of take-out in her hands. She was however, dressed in a completely different outfit. Black sun glasses, scarf over her hair, long black jacket- if he hadn't been watching so intently he probably would have missed her. And she still had her school bag.

She hailed a cab, but his driver knew enough to continue following it without him saying anything. The yellow car meandered through multiple streets for about twenty minutes until finally arriving at her destination.

And Chuck could only stare when he read the name of the building.

_A Woman's Medical P.C._

She was at an abortion clinic.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I had originally planned on the chapter being longer, but then this turned out to be quite long enough. P.S. it was brought to my attention that some of the facts were incorrect, so after doing some more research, I've corrected them according to what I found.

Chapter 3

This was a day she would forget.

She repeated that over and over in her head. Periods in one's life could be forgotten, even if it were by sheer will alone. And she would forget this day, as well as the few days that came before it. She would forget it all. Because there was no reason to remember something that was part of no one's plan- and most certainly not hers.

Just a few days ago her life was completely normal. Sure there had been some major detours over the past few months, but then things had just been getting back on track. Her outlook had been so bright, so assured. And then, with one small melding of two cells, her perfect world was about to be destroyed again.

But even just an hour after her discovery of this, she had already been well on her way to solving the problem. She had taken care of any impediments, any possible threats to dissuade her from her plan. Serena wouldn't understand- despite the wild, hedonistic lifestyle she'd lived for so long, she'd yet retained a kind of innocent view of the world. She thought too much with her heart

Blair Waldorf's had gotten a fairly good education in pain and betrayal, from many people. She had learned long ago not to put much trust in what her heart told her.

And Chuck? She had learned well just the kind of boy he was- and nowhere in that description could be added the word 'gentleman'. It was ridiculous to think he'd have any other reaction than making a quick get away out of the continental US, and perhaps returning after five years. Then again, he probably would have been the most likely candidate to help her get rid of it, but she didn't want his help. She didn't want any part of him in her life anymore.

It was going to be so easy too. Once _this_ (and she never referred to it beyond anything but 'it' or 'this' or 'her situation') was gone from her life, there would be nothing to worry about anymore. Chuck was finally giving up his little torture game with her and there was nothing to keep her from settling back into the comfort that was her life before the nightmare of the last few months had happened.

Or so she thought until little Jenny Humphrey came up to her the same day she'd found out about her situation.

"I know," she said in an uncharacteristically confident voice as she walked up to Blair when lunch began.

She rose an uncaring eyebrow at her, continuing to walk to the MET steps as always. "Know what?"

"I know," Jenny replied, not troubling to lower her voice. "About Chuck."

That stopped Blair short in her steps. She could feel her mouth hanging open slightly as she turned to face her blonde counterpart. "What do you think you know?"

Jenny crossed her arms in front of her, this time leaning forward so she could whisper. "I know that Serena had to buy you a pregnancy test because you'd slept with him."

Blair could feel tears beginning to sting her eyes. Unfortunately emotions went out of control during her... condition. "Serena told you?"

A small amount of guilt passed over the other girl's face. "She told my brother; she didn't know I was listening."

The hand holding the straps of her bag clenched more tightly around it. "I see," she whispered bitterly.

The tense, defensive posture Jenny had been holding deflated finally and she sighed. "Look, I promise I won't tell anyone about it, Blair. But, I will, if you keep treating me like I'm dirt."

Blair wanted to tell her she was from Brooklyn, of course that made her dirt. But she knew when she was backed in a corner, and even if she was going to correct the problem, she couldn't win this one.

She straightened her shoulders a little and strove for a slightly less cold voice than she wanted to speak in. "Fine. I won't treat you like that anymore."

Jenny nodded, looking appeased, but stepped closer to ask in genuine concern, "Are you pregnant though?"

Blair released a long huff of air, gritting her jaw. "No. I took the test, and no, I'm not," she answered stiffly.

"Oh," Jenny replied simply, smiling a little. "Thank god. That must have been really scary."

Blair shook her head, looking straight ahead as they walked forward to their lunch place.

"Barely even thought about it."

She made the appointment that night. She deliberated between going to some of the abortion clinics on the upper east side compared to ones located far away- the main draw in that being that no one could possibly see. As she reviewed the pros and cons of the various places over the internet she decided that it was more important that she receive the best in care, rather than the most discreet place.

But she almost reconsidered when she called the institution to make an appointment and they informed her of the standard protocol. Tests for health- mental and physical- had to be done, a sonogram to see how far long she was, and most importantly, a second person to be there to take her home afterwards. The entire process was supposed to take about five hours.

She set the appointment for as soon as possible, which unfortunately was a few days from then. When she realized that she would need to tell someone to be her second person, she allowed herself to cry again a little.

The next morning, as she walked out the door to go to school, she informed Dorota coolly that she had a doctor's appointment on Friday and she needed her to come with her.

The next few days passed in a blur thankfully. The one thing that stood out was the sickness she always felt in the mornings, sending her running to the bathrooms so often in school. Half of the time she couldn't even tell if it was because of her condition or simply the nervousness she felt.

And she definitely spent no time looking at _him_. He didn't even pester her anymore with his blackmail games, so obviously his "fascination" with her was over. God knew she was doing him an immense favor with this.

It was disappointing that she would miss the chance to go see Nate's dad with him. She'd been waiting for a chance like that for him to trust in her all her life.

She'd had a plan, of course, fairly carefully crafted for the day of. She brought an extra outfit to change into after school, changed into it in a place she _definitely_ wouldn't go to normally, and had the cab she hailed drive around several places before finally arriving at the destination.

Dorota was standing outside of the building, also dressed more covertly as she had asked her to earlier that morning. Her hands were wringing a handkerchief nervously.

"Oh Miss Blair," she greeted her, and Blair numbly heard the start of tears in her voice. "What we doing _here_? You not have doctor appointment _here_." She shook her head at her in disbelief.

Blair pushed open the doors and the maid followed after her quickly. She noted with gratitude the clean, respectful decor of the facilities.

"You will not be mentioning any of this to my mother, Dorota," she clarified sedately. "You will not be mentioning this to anyone."

"No Miss Blair," she protested, the tears flowing freely now. "You cannot! God will not-"

"If God didn't want me to do this, he wouldn't have allowed me to get pregnant," Blair cut in coldly, not looking at her and walking forward to announce her arrival to the secretary.

That was when a heavy hand wrapped around her arm, jerking her backward.

She raised shocked eyes to see Chuck Bass standing before her, his own face tight in anger.

"What the_ hell_ are you doing here, Waldorf?" he shot out furiously, his voice ringing out into the half-full room.

She gaped at him for a second, unable to comprehend how he could possibly know her whereabouts nor why he would even care to find out. "I should ask you the same question," she returned breathlessly.

The grip on her arm increased and she almost winced in sympathetic pain as she saw how tightly he clenched his jaw. "You said you weren't pregnant," he said, voice echoing his disbelief at her treachery.

Her eyes closed slowly and her hands tightened in a fist. Why, why did it have to be him who followed her? He was the last person she wanted to be here. "It's none of your concern," she whispered remotely.

He gripped both of her arms now, and she honestly thought for a second he would hurt her- he looked so angry.

She was saved by one of the clinic's assistants, who came up to them in their emotion-charged stances. "Excuse me- Blair Waldorf?" she asked, looking between the two as if she would intervene at any moment.

"Yes," Blair answered, breaking away from Chuck's hold finally and glaring at him. "That's me."

The petite older woman looked at Chuck with a raised eyebrow. "Sir, do you have any business here?"

"No," Blair cut in quickly.

"Yes," Chuck countered emphatically, glaring at her. "I'm the father."

The way he looked saying it, it just didn't make sense to her. All of this was unbelievable to her.

It took her just a second to recover. "No, he's not."

Chuck stared hard at her, jaw working.

The assistant looked once more between the two, and shrugged as if giving up. "Miss Waldorf, we're ready to begin your appointment whenever you are. But if you two can't keep this quiet, we'll have to ask you to step outside." She walked away back to the white hallway across the room.

Chuck continued to stare at her, as if waiting for an explanation.

"You're not, Chuck," she repeated to him, striving for a polite tone.

His eyes narrowed at her. "You can't know that."

She took a deep breath, searching her brain for an excuse. "Look- Nate wasn't as careful as you were, okay?"

He swallowed hard and a pained look entered his eye. She knew he was remembering the night of the cotillion, and felt a slight pang of guilt. She supposed what she had done that night could penetrate even the cold recesses of Chuck Bass' heart. Just a little though.

"I didn't want to tell him because I don't want to be a burden on him. I just got him back." Her voice trembled now with her emotion because it was her greatest fear that Nate would find out.

She could tell by the way he shut his eyes tightly at her words that she was just increasing his pain. She told herself not to care; it was his fault she was in this mess. "And we don't need this now."

She took the handkerchief Dorota handed her and wiped away the moisture from her eyes, taking a deep breath. She was about to turn around when Chuck grabbed at her hand again. Her head whipped around to look at him.

She could see the tensity of his jawline once again. "Blair, he deserves to know."

Her eyes went wide and she jerked her hand free. "No, he doesn't. This isn't his problem, it's mine." She smiled sarcastically at him. "My body, my choice, you know; the father doesn't have a say in it at all."

He stepped closer to her once more. "Blair-"

"No," she said clearly, backing away from him. "I have an appointment now. I'll ask them to make you leave if you don't now."

She saw his fists clench at his sides, but after a moment, he turned around and stalked out the door.

She did not allow herself to register the reason for her trembling as she walked to the white hallway. A nurse waited for her, showing her into the doctor's office. They gave her medical history and consent forms to fill out, and then discussed them with a counselor; they performed another pregnancy test with a urine sample, stuck a needle in her finger to perform a blood test. She had been there for about an hour and a half. All that was left was the sonogram, the final procedure, and then the required hour of recovery.

She was led to a typical hospital room, the kind she went to for regular doctor visits. She changed into the plain smock patients wore, keeping on only her underwear.

She laid back on the padded bed when the doctor came in, smiling politely at her.

"How are things going so far for you, Blair?" she asked, settling on the chair next to her and adjusting some of the instruments around her.

Blair's fingers tapped in a staccato rhythm against the arm rests where they lay. She was sick of all the questioning.

She cleared her throat. "Do we really have to do this?"

The doctor peered at her over her glasses. "If you're having reservations, Blair, we can stop at anytime you need."

She shook her head, twisting her hands now in her lap. "No, I mean the sonogram. We already know I'm pregnant, right?"

The doctor nodded, snapping medical gloves into place. "Yes, but having a sonogram is standard procedure. It allows us to see how far along you are in your pregnancy, and to check that it is viable."

"Oh," Blair whispered, concentrating to keep her breath even, her face clear.

"Now if you'll just lean back Blair, and lift up your gown over your stomach," the doctor instructed, watching as she complied. She held a bottle of gel liquid in her gloved hand. "This is going to be a little cold."

She squirted it on Blair's still-flat abdomen and began rubbing it around a little with a rolling instrument.

"You told the counselor when you had your urine test that your last period that was in late November?"

"Sometime around then."

The doctor turned on some switches on the machine next to her. "But you said you think you got pregnant around the tenth of December, right?"

Blair nodded, eyes closed. The tenth she spent the night with Chuck and _it_ happened. A week later, she went to Cotillion with Nate.

"That means," the doctor began, moving the instrument around Blair's belly as if searching. "although you probably conceived about 5 weeks ago, we count it from the last monthly period, which would put you at about seven weeks."

Blair kept her eyes closed. She could feel the coldness of the gel on her stomach, and the smooth rolling motion of the doctor's instrument, but she did not want to see anything. She did not need the image on that screen to be burned into her memory; it would be so much harder to forget.

She waited, unknowingly holding her breath, until she realized something.

She opened her eyes to look at the doctor. "Why isn't there a heartbeat?"

The doctor was watching her carefully. "Most heartbeats can't be heard until about the ninth or tenth week. Sometimes they can be seen on the sonogram as early as your stage, but I can't see it just right now. However," she pointed a finger at the screen. "I do see the baby right there."

Blair immediately wanted to correct her, and tell her not to use that word. She could feel herself shaking slightly as she watched the white squiggly lines on the screen. She had no idea what she was looking at, but despite her best efforts, she couldn't look away.

The doctor took away the instrument from her stomach and clicked off the machines.

"Blair," the doctor leaned in towards her. "Do you still want the procedure?"

It took her a few seconds before she could nod slowly. "Yes," she whispered.

A knock came from outside on the door. The doctor walked over to answer, but all Blair could hear was indistinct mumbling. She stared at the now black screen and her fingers began twisting on the armrests again.

The doctor closed the door and returned to stand by her once again. "Blair, the secretary outside said that the father is here and he's demanding to see you."

Blair's eyes widened and she shook her head vehemently. "No! He was here before and-"

"She made sure to clarify that it is not the man who was here before," the doctor assured her. "The man waiting for you now said his name was Nate Archibald."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I suppose I should warn you now that this story inherently will have some Nair in it. But I should hope all of you know by now that I'm a firm Chair fan.

Chapter 4

God, she hated him. She would hate him forever for this.

She knew it, even as she sat still on the cushy seat of the hospital bed and the doctor waited for her response, that _he_ had done it. Chuck had called Nate, all the way from the rehab center where he'd been vising his dad. And now he was here, and he knew. And there'd be no taking it back.

She couldn't hold herself in anymore after that. The tears and emotions that had been building up over the last few days tore through her and she found herself gasping for breath in time with her sobs. The doctor sat at her side, patting her hand or rubbing her shoulder, and Blair was so fargone that she didn't care that some stranger with a lower income was pitying her.

She waited until the tears lessened and she could speak in a clear voice. "Let him in."

The doctor opened the door and walked out, and within seconds the door opened again. This time it was Nate and he was alone.

And here she'd thought her crying was over...

"Blair," he exclaimed as he walked over, grabbing her hands immediately into his. Her head hung forward, water flowing like a river down her cheeks. She didn't want him to see; didn't want to look at his expression.

"Blair," he repeated, and she could hear the shocked disbelief in his voice. "I can't... why- why didn't you tell me?"

Her hands lay limp in his, and she simply couldn't calm down enough to speak. Though god knew she had no idea what to say.

"Chuck called me," he continued, this time his voice a little hard. "Blair, do you know what it felt like for my best friend to tell me that my girlfriend is pregnant with my child?"

She looked up at him. His face, though just before his words had been remonstrating, was only lined in worry and care. Chuck hadn't told him about the possibility that there could be another father.

Maybe she wouldn't hate him forever then. But at least for most of her life.

She brought up a hand to his cheek. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just- I didn't want you to know because I didn't think you needed this right now. Neither of us do."

Nate's eyebrows furrowed and she was surprised to see the hint of moisture in his eyes. "And you thought I wouldn't want to know- or that you could go through with this all by yourself? Blair, it would've killed me to find out about all of this afterwards."

She continued to shake her head. "You weren't supposed to find out..." she repeated weakly.

Nate pressed his forehead to hers, and took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Their hands were still clasped together tightly and Blair took great comfort from this. He was so understanding. At least now, when she did what she would do, she might be exempt from a little less guilt.

"Blair, we need to go see my dad," Nate informed her quietly.

She drew back from him, mouth open. "What are you talking about?"

He pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. "I was visiting him when Chuck called. When I hung up, I was- I was just in such a shock, it all just blurted out." He opened his eyes to look at her seriously. "He said we should come back and talk with him about it."

Blair's horror now increased by tenfold. Earlier this day no one knew that she was actually pregnant. Now three people did, including her boyfriend's father. Even if he was in drug rehab, it would be all too easy for this to go straight to her own mother.

"Nate," her voice rose with her escalating panic. "That's crazy, he's not a part of this. It's our decision, and we both agree that this can't happen in our life now."

He only stared at her.

"Right?" she asked in a small voice.

He scooted closer and cupped his hands to her face. "Blair, whatever we decide- it's-" he gestured to the hospital room around them. "_This_ is not going to happen today. I just barely found out about this, I need time to figure it all out."

Tears started falling again because she was just so overwhelmed. This whole mess was so complicated now, and when it was just her who knew, the solution had been so simple. All she wanted in the world right then was to have her old life back.

Nate took her hand in his and kissed it. "Please, Blair," he pleaded.

She was so tired, so drained from the emotional upheaval of the day, and then especially of just the last few minutes. It would be okay for her to give him the time he needed, to discuss things with his father. More than anything, she just needed to get out of here.

"Okay," she agreed in a defeated whisper.

She put her clothes back on, though not bothering with the head scarf or sunglasses this time. Her movements felt robotic and she was glad to find that she had finally cried herself out. When they walked through the waiting room, out of the corner of her eye she saw Dorota and _him_ standing together. She vigilantly kept her eyes on the floor.

Nate talked to the secretary at the front desk, informing her of the change in plans. Dorota walked up next to her, crying into what looked like a very soaked handkerchief.

"Oh Miss Blair," she kept repeating, interspersed with bits of Polish.

When everything was taken care of, Nate wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her outside. When they walked out of the doors, she heard Chuck offer his limo to take them to see his father.

"No," Blair answered in a strangely dull but hard voice.

She kept her eyes lowered still, so she did not see either of the two boys' reactions.

After a short pause, Nate spoke. "She's right, we should do this alone." He walked to the side of the street and hailed a cab. When one pulled over, he opened the door for her and she slid in.

Before he stepped in, Nate took the time to grasp Chuck's hand in his. "Thank you man, I can't tell you how grateful I am for what you did today."

Blair closed her eyes, feeling like she could fall asleep at any second. Wishing that she would.

"Just take care of her," Chuck replied in a low tone, and even in Blair's muddled state, she could hear how it must have slid through clenched teeth.

She felt Nate as he slid onto the cab seat beside her and shut the door. He told the driver the address and her head began drifting to the side so that it fell onto Nate's shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her again, and she took the smallest comfort in that, despite the utter chaos that made up her life at the moment, she felt safe.

Before she could fall totally asleep, he broke the silence quietly.

"How Blair?" he asked, still with that tone that said he could barely believe the events that had happened. "How did this even happen? I mean, we used a condom and..."

She drew a deep breath. If, and she was still sure that she did not want to, but _if_ she had to keep it- the only reason why she would, would be if Nate thought it was his. She would try her best to keep him from ever knowing that there would have ever been any other kind of possibility.

"It broke," she lied, staring forward at the road as the cab made its way. "I could feel it when it happened, but I was too scared to tell you."

She felt him shake his head slowly. "I can't believe I didn't even notice..."

She swallowed and said somewhat drily, "It's not like you have a lot of practice."

She heard him let out a long breath, leaning his head back against the headrest of the cab. "I still just can't believe- _all_ of this. One time, we have sex one time and then this-" he let out a small, ironic laugh. "We should be an advertisement for abstinence."

Blair found that she could not even try to laugh. She simply burrowed closer into Nate's side, closing her eyes, and allowed herself to sleep.

She did not know how much time had passed since she closed her eyes and when she opened them again to see the large building where Nate's father was in rehab. Nate helped her out of the cab after paying and held her hand as they entered the building. He spoke with the secretary and then they began walking towards the room.

Blair noted that they were nice facilities and she was grateful that his father, even with the fraud and embezzlement he'd committed, wouldn't have to live in squalor. When they reached room 140, Nate paused at the door and squeezed her hand once.

"Ready?" he asked, looking at her.

She had to swallow a few times more before answering in a breathy, "Yes."

He opened the door and Blair saw the Captain sitting on the bed in the room.

He looked up when they came in. "Blair," he exclaimed in pleasure, as if this visit from her was just as innocent as they had originally planned a few days ago. He stood up and clasped her hands in his. "Always looking so beautiful," he observed with a smile.

Blair smiled weakly. "Thank you, Mr. Archibald."

"Nate,"the Captain turned to his son, clapping him on the shoulder. "You did the right thing in coming back. You two have a lot of things to discuss, and it's best to have a parent as part of that discussion."

Nate nodded, not quite looking at his dad.

"Well, let's have a seat, shall we?" Mr. Archibald indicated to two chairs he had set up next to his bedside. Blair noted dimly that though the room was nice and clean, it was rather small and there was no other place for them to all sit down together. She took a chair with Nate beside her and Nate father sat down on the bed.

She was a little disturbed by his calm, almost jubilant attitude. Though she knew of the occasional fights he'd had with his son, Blair had more often than not seen him a happy man, and he had always been extremely supportive and taken by her. Still, she simply always assumed that the situation they were in now was every parent's worst nightmare.

The captain clapped his hands together and then began speaking. "Well, this certainly is a sticky situation now, isn't it?" He chuckled, though Blair and Nate's expressions did not change. "Though obviously you two aren't the first to go through something like this. In fact, it happens a lot, even when I was your age."

He leaned forward and he finally looked more serious. "But you two are lucky. Because for most kids that this happens to, it's with the wrong person. But you two have known that you'd end up together since kindergarten, isn't that right?"

There was a pause as both Blair and Nate stared at the Captain. Nate spoke up first. "Dad, that's not really the issue here-"

"Well of course it is, Nate!" his father countered in his still jolly voice. "You see, that makes all the difference." He turned towards Blair. "Blair when I heard about where you were- I don't blame you because I know you thought you were doing it for our family's sake. You didn't want to create a scandal. But I know you wouldn't have gone through with it."

And though Blair thought she had no more capabilities to cry anymore, the tears started forming at her eyes again. She almost wished she could tell them everything at the moment, just so she could be relieved of the heavy burden of the truth that weighed on her.

"You couldn't do it," the Captain continued in a more soothing tone. "Not when you know this will be the first of many children for you two."

_If only, _Blair thought. But even if it were Nate's child that she carried now, she'd probably still feel this shattering of her life. No matter how much she dreamed of a future with Nate, getting pregnant in her junior year of high school had never been a part of that dream.

"Dad," Nate began, indecision in his voice. "We're only seventeen."

The Captain looked at him smilingly. "It may be a bit sooner than the two of you planned, but we have to face facts. It happened and now we have to decide what to do about it. And as far as I see, there's only one thing to do about it."

Both Nate and Blair stared at him.

The Captain waved a hand in the air, and spoke as if the answer was obvious, "Why, get married of course."

"Oh god," Blair whispered, looking down at her lap and closing a hand over her eyes.

"Dad," Nate protested, his voice choking on disbelief. "It's not like when you were young, okay? Teens don't have to get married just because they're having a child together- and especially when we're still in high school!"

The Captain turned towards Blair again and spoke again in a soft voice. "Blair, I know you did what you did because you wanted to save our families from scandal. And though times have changed, family integrity doesn't. You don't want, years later when Nate is campaigning for office, to have to answer all the questions about how your first child was born out of wedlock, do you?"

Blair, whose tears were still streaming steadily but quietly down her cheeks, felt so confused. At every turn she was thwarted; there seemed to be no easy choice to make anymore. Nate's father still waited for some kind of answer from her, and all she could do was shake her head slightly.

"Well, just think about it alright?" his father finally conceded. "You have the time now since no one else knows."

Nate stood up, keeping an arm around Blair. "Thanks, Dad," he said quietly.

Mr. Archibald clapped him on his shoulder again. "Give it a week, maybe. Then come visit me again. And don't tell anyone else."

The door was opened when Blair finally realized she was missing something. "Oh, my purse," she muttered, walking back to the chair to pick it up from the side. When she did she noticed her phone was buzzing. She flipped it open to find a new message in her inbox.

"Oh my god," she whispered as she looked at the screen displaying a picture of her, Nate, Chuck, and Dorota outside of A Medical Woman's P.C..

**When one of my favorite tipsters told me they'd seen Chuck Bass at an abortion clinic, I was pretty ecstatic. But then, an hour later pops out our favorite King and the (apparently) no-longer-virgin Queen of Constance? Could it get any juicier? From Snow White to baby killer- what a fall! Maybe you should have paid less attention to keeping your legs closed, and more on how to keep them open safely, B.**

**XOXO Gossip Girl**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chuck Bass had never been a patient person. From the first he had always gotten what he desired; except maybe the things that couldn't be bought, and it was this that probably made him hunger for them all the more.

So when he had to wait outside of the abortion clinic after calling Nate to come immediately, it was not with patience. He had no idea how these things worked, having -perhaps surprisingly- never needed to be a part of an abortion before. He didn't know how much time they had before the procedure would be already finished.

It burned like acid when he'd decided to call Nate; if he'd had any other choice he would have called anyone else. But he knew he was the only one who would make her stop.

And when he did finally arrive and walked into the room where Blair was, it had taken him only ten minutes to convince her not to do it. And with Chuck, she wouldn't have done it for anything.

He was going to pop a blood vessel from all of this intensity crashing over him at every second.

Watching her, pale and shaking and dried tear marks down her face as she came out of the room, he'd only wanted to go to her- to comfort her. But, as always, it was Nate's arms around her.

It was Nate that talked to the nurse to settle affairs.

She didn't even glance at him.

It was Nate who took her outside.

And even when he simply offered the use of his limo, she didn't accept it. Couldn't even stare him in the face as she refused.

It was only Nate she wanted with her.

Because it was Nate's baby that she had within her.

Yet somehow, even as she slid into the cab she would ride with her white prince, his heart still raged to protect her. He could hardly fathom the emotion himself, after so much rejection and the desolation that quaked within him at Nate's triumph over him. He should be furious, he should be seeking his revenge at the next possible moment.

But seeing her white face and trembling hands, he just couldn't.

And when he saw the blast from Gossip Girl with the picture of them all outside the abortion clinic, he knew it would make everything so much worse.

And so he waited. He stayed in his room, and he smoked packs of cigarettes over his balcony's ledge, and he watched the clock's meandering path. He knew better than to think that _she _might call him, but he figured Nate at least would want to talk.

He didn't know what Nate's father could possibly want to talk about with his son and his pregnant girlfriend, but he could guess.

And the thought did not calm him one bit.

He hardly slept that night. He got drunk, but not drunk enough to fully conk out, and so he was left with sad, hardly coherent ramblings to himself.

"It's not as if I wanted a baby," he explained to the decanter of scotch in front of him at three in the morning. "Hell, if it was mine, I'd be shitting myself right now."

But he sure as hell didn't want it to be Nate's.

And really, a small voice told him in the back of his head, so what if they hadn't used protection? He and Blair had done it ten times more than she and Nate must have- was it really out of the realm of possibility that it was his after all?

But, like in all things, he probably did not deserve that. God knew he'd be a fucked up father.

He brooded, because he could not admit that he wanted it to be his when there was a high possibility that it wasn't. He no longer wanted to pine over things that could never be his.

He must have dozed off sometime around sun up. It was Saturday so it was okay for him to sleep in late. But his slumber was disrupted by a knock on his door sometime around lunch.

"Chuck?" Nate called loudly through the door. "Let me in, I need to talk to you."

He flung the bedsheets off of him, noticing that he was still in his school uniform shirt and pants from yesterday. He'd never bothered to shuck them off. The room was spinning and the light was harsh and blinding from his hangover, but he somehow made his way to the front door.

He opened it to see Nate looking almost as drawn and tired as he must have. Almost, but not quite.

"Thanks, man," he muttered as he stepped into the room and made his way to the bar.

Chuck watched as Nate picked up one of his aged whiskeys and poured himself a sizeable glass, then downed it quickly. Chuck made his way to the couch and sank down, closing his eyes and rubbing his fingers at their corners.

"Pour me one too," he requested.

He heard the clinking of glass on the marble counter and winced. "You look like you must have had plenty last night."

"It was necessary at the time," he said in a gravelly voice, finally peeking through his lids to see Nate placing two shot glasses on the table and settling down on the sofa in front of him.

"Can't be any worse than the night I had," Nate replied, swigging his shot down and slumping into the seat cushions behind him.

Chuck took a sip from his glass and watched Nate for a bit. The curiosity was burning him, but at the same time, he was almost reluctant to know.

"So what happened?" he finally asked, forcing his voice to sound calm.

Nate was looking down at the empty glass in his hands, turning it round and round. "We met with my dad, and we talked about everything, and..." he let out a long breath. "He thinks we should get married."

Chuck's eyes narrowed to slits as his smile hardened. It was what he expected, and yet he still found himself shocked at the truth of it. "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Nate shrugged, and let out a hoarse laugh. "I know, right? It's unbelievable." His hands slid up to cover his face and his body fell to the side to lay down fully on the couch. "But _all _of this is unbelievable!" he groaned. "I still can't wrap my head around it."

Chuck just stared at him. Part of him was enjoying seeing Blair's white knight crumble in front of him. He knew he wouldn't be able to take this, and it made him wonder how Blair would react if she could see it. "I remember just a month ago, Archibald, your parents were trying to get you two engaged, and you freaked out." He paused and then asked in a serious voice, "Has anything changed since then?"

Nate's hands dropped from his eyes and he glanced at Chuck before returning his gaze to the ceiling. "Yes, I mean, _a lot_ has changed. I'm with Blair because I want to be, and I know now that, you know," he fumbled over the words for a second. "I love her."

Chuck felt his jaw tick and was grateful that his friend could not see his expression just now. He was jealous of Nate in just about everything- even with how easily he was able to admit his feelings.

Nate brought up his hands in the air, continuing on with his reasoning. "And it's not as if I never imagined this to happen. I mean- not the getting pregnant in high school thing- but, you know, getting married to her." He shrugged again, staring at his feet. "I mean, that's what I pretty much thought all while I was growing up."

Chuck processed this thoughtfully, and then decided he finally had to ask.

"Well there is one way to resolve all this," he said slowly, and his eyes sharpened on Nate's face. "Would you get rid of it?"

His friend's eyebrows furrowed together and his jaw hardened as he thought about it, then slowly he shook his head. "I don't think I could, man. I mean, I know that's what everyone thinks now," he rolled his eyes, obviously referring to the Gossip Girl blast earlier. "And it's so weird to think about it, but it's-" his shoulders shifted upwards and his tone softened. "It's my child."

A short silence followed as Chuck once again found he could not form a reply while the bitterness brewed inside him.

Nate let out a loud groan, slapping his hands to his forehead. "Shit, this just shouldn't happen to kids in high-school."

Chuck couldn't help but agree with him. But then that's why he'd always taken measures for this to not happen to him. And finally he had something to say.

"That's right," he commented, not trying to keep the recrimination from his voice. "I have to say I'm rather disappointed you didn't remember my lecturing on always using protection before, Archibald." He raised his glass to him in a salute and flashed a brittle smile. "You could have saved yourself from all this trouble."

Or he could have just not slept with her in the first place.

Nate's eyes widened and he could read the shock in them. "I did!" he insisted defensively. "I used a condom, but it broke!"

Chuck's body stilled. "What?" he demanded.

Nate hands flew in the air in a helpless gesture. "I don't know, that's what Blair said. She told me on the way to my dad's that she felt it when it happened." He shook his head and spoke as if mad at himself, "I still can't believe I didn't notice."

Chuck sat with his body unmoving except for his hand which rotated the now empty shot glass in his hand over and over, his rampant thoughts mimicking the action. When it was too quiet for too long, Nate sat up finally on the couch and looked up at his friend.

"What should I do, man?" he asked quietly.

"Huh?" Chuck asked, as if pulled from deep thoughts.

"What should I do?" Nate repeated, his voice slightly more aggravated now and waving his hand in the air. "About- all of this?"

Chuck set his glass loudly on the table in between the couches and stood up, throwing an arm around his friend to pull him up as well. He started to lead him to the door.

"You just give it time,man," he instructed, and for the first time he didn't have to force his voice to sound normal. "Just think about it all. Think about what you really want."

Nate nodded and he opened the door. But before he stepped out fully, Chuck put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you going to see Blair now?"

Nate shook his head, putting his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "I don't think so. Not right now, I just want to sort it all out." He ducked his head slightly. "Like you said, man."

Chuck felt himself relax slightly and he closed the door, telling Nate to call him if he needed. He leaned against the back of the door for a minute, shutting his eyes as his heart raced.

What were her exact words? _Nate wasn't as careful as you were_. He'd immediately assumed that meant they hadn't used a condom, but obviously from his friend's account that wasn't the case. Still, she could have been referring to it breaking, but he couldn't help the thought that buzzed around in his head.

_She's lying_.

He may have been a little desperate after talking with Nate. When he figured that Nate's father, with one agenda on his mind, had counseled them to get married, he'd been sure that it would send Nate running. He could pretend to himself that he was suddenly back in love with Blair all he wanted, but Chuck was aware enough of his friend's fickleness to know that it wouldn't stand up against this test.

Or so he thought. He'd been surprised by Nate's determination in their conversation, and it nagged at him now more than ever.

Because he'd burn in hell before he let Nate raise _his_ baby.

He shoved away from the door and headed to his closet. He put on new clothes and called the front desk to ready the limo.

When he walked out the front doors of the Palace, he was presentable. He told his driver to head to the Waldorf residence and as the limo rolled down the streets he only worked to calm his rapidly beating heart.

By the time he was waiting in the elevator to take him up to her floor, his palms were sweating. He suddenly wished he hadn't worn a jacket, it was too hot, but damn it, it was too late. The doors slid open and, taking a deep breath, he walked out.

Dorota was not there to greet him. No one was. He could hear sounds in the kitchen, but the house was fairly quiet barring that.

He deliberated for a minute, wondering if he should just head up to her room. That's when he heard footsteps on the stairway.

"I told you Dorota, I don't need anything for lunch!" she yelled as she walked down the stairs. She was in her pajamas still, a lavender colored teddy with her white gossamer robe trailing behind it. It was a little past one now, and even on a Saturday, he'd never known Blair Waldorf to stay in her bedclothes for so long.

When she turned the corner of the stairway her eyes locked on him and she stood still. He could almost see her eyes redden with her outrage at seeing him there, but he was too busy noting the dark purple lines under her eyes, the sallowness of her skin, the thinness of her figure. He'd noticed them the week before, but he'd assumed they were all traits of a very different condition.

She began walking forward stiffly to the living room. "I see I need to tell the guards downstairs your presence is not welcome here anymore," she said coolly as she sat down on the sofa.

He made his way over slowly, watching her with hawk eyes. "Why?" His voice slid out smooth and low like a caress. "Because you can't stand to see the father of your child when you're lying to him?"

He could see for a second the widening of her eyes before she narrowed them. "What the hell are you talking about?"

He pointed an accusatory finger at her and spoke through his teeth. "You said you two didn't use a condom, but that's not what Nate told me."

She smiled and he imagined she wanted to bite off his head with those teeth. "I said we weren't careful. I didn't think you wanted the full details."

He just shook his head at her. "I think you're lying."

Her jaw tightened and she glared at him with hard eyes. "The doctor at the clinic told me my estimated conception date." Her eyebrow raised and her voice turned smug. "Right around the 18th of December- the night of the Cotillion, if you don't remember."

"And I recall you in my bed just two days before that night," he countered right back.

Her expression turned to ice. "Well luckily we know you didn't break anything that night or at any other." She stood up and tried to walk away.

He stilled her with a tight hand on her arm. He couldn't control his voice anymore, and it came out low and unstable. "You can't say that it's not mine, Blair," he rasped. "You can't know that."

She tried shoving his hand off her. "Mother's intuition," she retorted, rolling her eyes. "I _know_."

He grabbed both of her arms and glared at her, spitting the words out. "Stop fucking around with me about this- I could be the father and you can't fucking deny it!"

Her eyes blazed at him, and her voice was soaked in hatred. "It doesn't matter!" She pushed against his chest forcefully. "Believe me- the _second_ I knew it was yours, I would get rid of it!"

And she may as well have just stabbed him. Perhaps it would have even hurt less. Maybe it was the look on her face when she said it, or the loathing laced in her tone. But the truth of it knocked the air from his body for a second and she finally broke free from his grip.

Dorota entered the room cautiously, carrying a tray in her hands. "Miss Blair, you need eat now."

Blair turned to her, her previous wrath from their argument spilling out to her maid. "I told you, Dorota, I don't want-"

Her eyes seemed to lock on the thick, green-tinged soup on the tray, and perhaps the wafting scent had caught up with her nostrils by the way they flared. A hand flew up to cover her mouth and she hunched over, then ran towards the kitchen. Chuck heard a scuffling on tile, and then the unmistakable sound of vomiting.

He and Dorota found her kneeling on the floor, a foot away from the kitchen sink, though she obviously hadn't made it in time. She was spitting the last remnants from her mouth, and he could tell from the way her shoulders shook that she was silently weeping.

Dorota got a towel from a drawer and ran it under some water, then began cleaning up the mess on the floor.

"It okay, Miss Blair," she soothed quietly. "Baby no like pea soup. Now we know."

This seemed to have the opposite effect and Blair's sobs now became audible.

Chuck was for a moment frozen because he had never seen anyone, least of all Blair, broken down this way, and it honestly frightened him. He had never been one to comfort people, but he would try now.

"Hey," he said gently, sitting back on his heels to get down to her level and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Blair-"

She pushed weakly at his hand, but slowly turned to face him.

"Don't tell Nate about us," she pleaded in a whisper, her face crumpled and her tears still dripping steadily down. "My life is already ruined."

Her words burned him like acid, it churned in his stomach until he thought he might throw up as well. His teeth surely would break with how he ground them together. The need to lash out ran through his body like an electric current.

But, like always, her face stopped him. He'd never truly seen Blair Waldorf broken before, and he wondered if, now that he had, it would haunt him. It would if he did what he so very much wanted to do right then.

He stood up, and, though he meant to set her mind at ease, he found that his voice could only come out harshly. "Take care of yourself." He turned to the maid. "And for god's sake find her something she can eat."

He turned on his heel and left, never seeing the way her eyes followed after him.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I was planning on updating DWTD first, but I'm really wrapped up in this story. :)

Chapter 6

Chuck Bass had just walked out of her home and for once she did not want to wrap her hands around his neck and squeeze the life out of it.

She was still sitting on the ground, Dorota wiping the previous contents of her stomach (though god knew how there was anything to throw up since she could hardly put anything in there). It had been a horrifying incident- him seeing her vomiting on the floor of her kitchen and then uncontrollably going into some hysterical fit. She hated every part of this pregnancy, and most especially the emotional whirlwinds that came upon her at any moment. Before this, only a handful of people had seen Blair Waldorf cry- really cry that is. Certainly no one had witnessed her sobbing like a fool, the smell of her sick in the air, begging for a favor even she knew she did not deserve.

Except now.

And she didn't want to think of why he was acting this way- acting so... caring. But she told herself that it was not from genuine concern that he cared to know if he was the father- she knew him too well to believe that. It was because he was Chuck Bass and Chuck Bass was obsessed with owning things. She knew she'd stung his pride when she'd chosen Nate over him after their little affair ended, and if he knew it was his baby, he could use it to one up Nate. He would use it as a way to get revenge.

But from somewhere deep in the back of her mind, a voice reminded her what he had done just now- silently agreeing to _not_ tell Nate, even when it would be the perfect revenge.

She wiped at the remnants of her tears with quick fingers. Well and so what if he did care just a little whether it was his child? At best, he might be intrigued by the idea for a week maybe, then realize the full impact of the situation, and one morning she would find that he'd flown halfway across the world to get away from her. It was the same way he treated all women; his attention span only lasted while they were still novel.

She would never trust him, but she could at least be grateful for his silence on their affair. If Nate found out, if he left her- she didn't know how she would recover from it. He was the only thing that made sense in her life right now, the one thing keeping her together.

She stood up finally on shaky legs. She despised how weak she was lately, and tired. She'd slept in until noon today, though she had gone to bed at around 8 the night before. Though part of that had likely been from the emotional strain of yesterday's events.

She closed her eyes as dread tore through her heart when she remembered Gossip Girl's blast. Everyone at school knew now. She'd turned her phone off since that moment because she knew it would only be bombarded by her friends and schoolmates, and she didn't have anything to say to them.

She started walking out of the kitchen, but Dorota spoke up before she could leave. "Don't worry Miss Blair, I make you something else for lunch."

Blair's hand gripped the doorway as her mind automatically pictured typical choices for the meal, and each made her stomach roil at the mere thought. "Fruits," she instructed her. "Just fruits." Hopefully that would be light enough to stay down.

She made her way back up to her room. She contemplated getting dressed for the day, but then remembered that she had no place to go. There was no way she wanted to go out in public today, even though it might take her mind off everything.

So she simply laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, not allowing her mind to think anything.

It seemed like only a few minutes after that she heard Dorota call from downstairs, "Miss Blair, Miss Serena here to see you!"

Blair sat up slowly, she had learned quickly how sitting up too quickly caused dizziness in her. Dorota had told her how Serena had visited yesterday when she had already gone to sleep and then earlier this morning. She was almost grateful that she had been unconscious during those times because she was slightly afraid of her friend now. She was another person who could destroy her because of the information she knew.

Not that Serena would do it intentionally, as Chuck would, but because it was "the right thing to do".

As far as Blair was concerned, the right thing to do was whatever kept her life together.

But she couldn't avoid her anymore and, to be honest, she couldn't go another minute without at least one other sympathetic ear. She could not tell her friend the full truth, since she obviously couldn't trust her after she told Chuck she was pregnant in the first place. But she knew Serena would at least try to comfort her, and she needed that right now.

Blair didn't even need to get up from the bed, Serena popped up in her doorway soon after Dorota's announcement. She looked like she was frozen for a second as she stared at Blair, until finally she rushed forward to enclose her in a tight embrace.

"Oh, B," she murmured, rubbing a hand on the back of her hair. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did you lie to me?"

Blair felt the now familiar stinging in her eyes, but tried to keep control of herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered in reply, still hugging her friend close. "I just thought it would be better if no one knew."

After a moment, Serena finally drew back, but kept a hand on Blair's shoulder. "B, did you try to get rid of it because you think it's Chuck's?" she asked in a serious voice.

This was the question she had been expecting. She shook her head firmly and told her the same story about Nate and the broken condom.

Serena looked slightly confused. "But if it's Nate's, why did you want to get an abortion?"

Blair let out a sharp breath, and, though she was continuing the lie she'd told, she was speaking honestly in her answer. "Because I didn't want this to happen to my life! I'm a junior in high school and I'm going to be a mother? This kind of thing happens to trailer trash in Texas, not me. Even now," she shook her head and looked down to her lap. "I just think everything would turn back to normal if I did it."

But Blair remembered yesterday and how she'd felt in the doctor's office, having seen the white lines of the sonogram. It made the admission to her friend less certain and was the reason why she could no longer call the procedure by its name anymore.

"So Nate didn't find out?" Serena asked softly. "About you and Chuck?"

Blair's eyebrows furrowed and she spoke in a hard voice. "No. He's not going to tell him."

Serena looked surprised. "Wow. I guess I wouldn't have expected that."

Blair rolled her eyes slightly. "It's not his, so why would he care?" she explained, drawing her robe closer around her. "I'm sure he's nothing but relieved at the situation."

Serena shook her head a little. "I don't know- it's just that when I told him about you being pregnant, he looked kind of shaken up about it." She shrugged her shoulders and gestured with an open hand. "I mean, he was shaken up in his own Chuck Bass way."

"So- what, he called in four maids to distract him during the night kind of shaken up?" Blair asked derisively.

Serena pursed her lips and a crease formed between her eyebrows. "No, I could just tell after I left that he was... taking it seriously, I guess."

A short silence followed in which Blair gritted her teeth with nothing to say as she tried to block out her friend's words.

"Anyway," Serena breezed. "It doesn't matter since Nate's the father, right?" She cleared her throat. "What was his reaction?"

Blair formed a small smile. "He was so nice yesterday when he took me out of the clinic. He was really sweet and supportive." She looked away. "But I haven't even talked to him since then."

Serena rubbed her hand up and down Blair's arm. "I'm sure he's just as shocked about everything as you are." She bit her lip as she looked at her friend. "What are you guys going to do?"

Blair just shook her head. "I have no idea," she muttered, and when she turned around to Serena, her eyes were glistening once again. "I'm so scared, S."

Serena hugged her close again and rubbed her back. She stayed for the snack Dorota finally brought up- grapefruit juice and crackers. Blair was able to eat everything and keep it down.

They watched some movies after that and Blair was so relieved to have her mind taken off her situation. Yet, she could not remove the thought in the back of her mind all the time, 'where was Nate?'

He'd dropped her off from the rehab center yesterday evening with a promise to come by soon. She just automatically thought that meant the day after, but it was already six o' clock and he still hadn't come by.

Serena asked her if she wanted her to stay over, but she told her no because she was expecting Nate to come over soon. So she left and Blair was left to eat grapefruit juice and crackers once more for dinner. This time they didn't stay down.

She wanted to stay up more, but she felt exhausted once again at only 8:30, so she got in bed, but told Dorota to wake her up if Nate came by.

She unfortunately slept through the night with no disturbance from her maid at all. She decided to finally turn on her phone again and look through the messages and missed calls, and though there were nearly a hundred from her friends, not a single one of them was from Nate. So she didn't bother looking through them, but merely turned her phone off again and slumped back into bed.

When she woke up again it was 2 in the afternoon. She walked downstairs, staying out of the kitchen, but requesting they try cold sandwiches for lunch this time. She sat on the couch and looked out the window. She realized vaguely that she was still wearing the pajama set she had worn all day yesterday and she didn't care one bit.

By 7 PM, she had thrown up once and was lying down on the couch, contemplating the devastation of her life now that her boyfriend had left her all to her pregnant self. She had heard about this kin of thing happening all the time, would have expected it from any other boy, _one_ in particular, but never Nate. Not after only one day at least.

That was when the elevator doors dinged open and Nate stepped out into her foyer.

"Nate," she breathed in relief when she saw him, and already she could feel the prick in her eyes from her emotions. God, she hated these stupid hormones.

"Blair," he quickly strode over to her, sitting down close on the sofa and taking her hands in his. "I'm sorry- I probably should have called you before. I'm sure you've been wondering where I've been."

She nodded fervently, though the happiness rushed through her at his being here at all.

He looked down to their hands and began rubbing circles into her palm. "I've been thinking this whole time," he admitted in a soft voice. "I thought about what my dad said and about us and what's the best solution, and..." he finally looked up seriously into her eyes. "I think we should get married."

Her eyes widened and she could not help the strange mix of emotions that ran through her. This was something she had wanted since she was in kindergarten- Nate proposing! But getting married in her junior year in high school was never a part of that dream, nor was it because she was pregnant. Her dream had become a nightmare. "Nate," she shook her head in her disbelief. "We really don't have to."

He nodded. "You're right- we don't have to." He tugged at her hands. "But I want to."

But she was starting to tear up, so she looked away. His hand dipped into his jean pocket and brought out a small box. She watched as he flipped open the lid and revealed the Vanderbilt diamond that had been placed on her hand less than 2 months ago.

"Look, I got this from my mother," Nate began.

"Did you tell her?" Blair hissed, a chord of fear immediately striking in her since, if Anne knew, her own mother would undoubtedly find out.

He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed at her slightly. "No, of course I didn't. I meant I had gotten it from her jewelry box. And," he drew a deep breath. "Look, the last time this was on your finger, it was at the wrong time. But now, it's the right because we both want this."

A small voice in the back of Blair's head called out 'I don't want this', but she did not speak it out loud.

"But Nate," she protested slightly. "It's just so ridiculous- getting married when we're in high school! We're going to be the joke of the school- of all of New York."

He only shook his head. "Maybe so. But that doesn't change that it's the right thing to do."

She frowned a little. "Why is it the right thing to do?"

He faltered for only a moment before answering. "Because we knew this was going to happen sometime for us Blair." He shrugged. "So we're speeding things up a bit. What matters is that we're together when our baby comes."

She squeezed his hand more tightly in hers because they were words she had longed to hear from him for so long she couldn't remember a time when she didn't. Still, she had never wanted to hear them in this particular context.

He looked at her and she could see the innocent intent in them. "Don't you think so, Blair?" he asked, stumbling on the words with his uncertainty.

"I don't know Nate," she hedged.

That was when the elevator doors dinged open and, to both Nate and Blair's utter surprise, out stepped Eleanor Waldorf.

"Mom!" Blair shot out of her seat. "I thought you weren't coming home from Paris for another two days."

"I was," Eleanor replied, walking right up to the couple on the sofa. "Until Anne Archibald called to tell me that my daughter was pregnant!"

Blair felt the last thread of privacy snipped away.

She turned to Nate and could not help the betrayal she felt leak into her voice. "I thought you said you didn't tell her."

"He didn't," Eleanor cut in quickly. "The Captain called from the rehab center to tell his wife what was happening to their _child_." Her mother brought up her hands to cover her face and shook her head in shame. "I cannot believe this behavior from you, Blair. You may have very well _ruined_ the family."

Blair felt tears start in her eyes and she slumped down in her seat next to Nate, who put an arm around her shoulders.

"I mean, what were you thinking?" Eleanor continued in a hysterical voice conveying all her outrage, pacing in front of them on the couch. "Don't they have classes for this kind of thing- so that you know how to protect yourselves? Why on earth am I paying for your education if they don't teach you that?" She turned on Blair, pointing a finger at her. "And you- I would have thought with how much you cared about getting into Yale that you wouldn't have done something this stupid to ruin your future! That dream is gone now, and you have no one but yourself to blame."

Her mother took a slight pause to pace around and mutter some indistinct, but undoubtedly still insulting, comments to herself. Nate took a deep breath and finally addressed her.

"Ms. Waldorf, Blair and I know this is not how we wanted things to happen, but we're willing to try and make things right." He turned to Blair, who was looking down into her lap as tears dripped down her cheeks. "I want us to get married- if that's what Blair-"

"Oh you better believe you're going to get married," Eleanor interrupted in a hard voice. "Of course you will. That's the only way to resolve the situation. The question is, how soon can we get things ready for a proper wedding ceremony..." she trailed off, sounding like she was starting the calculations in her head.

There was a short silence as all tried to organize their thoughts. Blair finally cleared her throat and spoke in a tired voice. "Not until the school year is finished."

Eleanor turned around to stare at her, but it was Nate that spoke. "What?"

She looked over at him and her voice softened slightly. "I'll marry you, but not until after school is over."

Her mother gaped at her. "Blair, that's ludicrous, that's in June. You'll be what- five, six months by then? You'll be enormous."

Blair gritted her teeth and stared hard at her mother. "I don't care; you'll make me a dress to cover it up. But I am not going to get married and then have to go to a Calculus exam the day after. And my teachers are not going to call me Mrs. Archibald on the roll call. And I am going to have the wedding that I've always wanted, and not something rushed just so I don't look fat!"

"You lost all choice for your future when you got yourself pregnant, dear," her mother rebutted, folding her arms in front of her chest. "And clearly you need more parental guidance in your life."

Blair stood up. "That's the only way this is going to happen. If you don't like it, I suppose I'll have to move in with daddy. And how will that make you look as a mother?" She smiled icily at her and began walking up the stairs.

Nate turned to Eleanor. "Please, Ms. Waldorf. She's breaking apart right now."

Eleanor's gaze was locked on the stairway, though her daughter had disappeared up them already. Finally, she turned back to the boy on the couch. "Fine. But I don't want to hear any complaints from her when the wedding pictures come back and she looks like a whale." She walked into the other room and slammed the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

He couldn't decide on the worst day of his life, whether it was when he found her leading Nate into a bedroom at Cotillion, or when she said if the baby she carried was his she would kill it, and effectively dismissed him from her house and her life. Both memories were inextricably tied up with one another. But the point was, the worst day of his life would always be associated with her.

It had been a hard Sunday, lying in his suite and biding the time. Nate never called him, but he had an edgy feeling of what to expect come Monday. If only because it would be the worst possible thing imaginable and those experiences seemed to be happening a lot to him lately.

But when it was confirmed, and he saw them walking through the gates of Constance hand in hand, hers with the glittering, classic Vanderbilt ring on it, it was so much worse than he could have expected. Blair kept her eyes on the ground as they walked, not looking at anyone, but Nate met his eyes across the courtyard and gave a small smile.

That was when he knew he'd never make it through the day.

He left immediately, telling Arthur to take him to Victrola instead of home. It was barely 8 o'clock, but that didn't matter. There was always liquor and warm bodies there.

He was done with his fucking pity party for himself. He most likely wasn't the father, and what's more, she would never let him be. And he was glad! He didn't need this shit fucking up his life anyway. What had he even been thinking? He decided then that he never wanted children because life was fucked up for everyone, but most especially if he was their father. Because he'd be just like his own was.

He didn't realize how heavily he was breathing, gasping some might call it, or how tightly his knuckles pushed against his skin as he clenched his fists until the limo came to a stop. He did not want to walk into the whore house- because that's all it was to him now, and anyone who'd danced on the stage- feeling so out of control as he did then. Surely it showed on his face.

So he laid his head back on the seat and tried to calm his pounding heart. He tried to swallow the tight knot that had formed in his throat. His fingers dug into the skin of his thigh in an attempt to relieve the fury coursing through him.

But ten minutes later, nothing had gone away. So he flung open the limo door and stalked his way to the building and drowned in the nearest bottle of scotch and least clothed body.

That was his life for weeks. He went to school, getting through the hours with much help from mind-numbing substances, and once that was done his night life started immediately.

He talked with Nate at school occasionally of course, it was rather unavoidable, but he always declined to hang out with him afterwards. They used to spend all their lunches together, but since that first day they walked into school hand in hand, Nate had spent most of his lunches with Blair. Chuck could see, even in his usual pot-induced haze, that her status as Queen Bee had been lost, and while she was still a part of that group, she had no power over them. A very small part of him felt the slightest tinge of pity for her, but it passed quickly.

He kept waiting for their impending wedding to be announced in the papers, which is why he searched through them every morning. Eleanor was back in town and surely she knew about the situation ny now. There was no doubt that she would demand an immediate marriage between the two, and he already knew that that's what Nate's parents wanted.

But when it passed the middle of February, still there was nothing. So that day he finally asked Nate about something more than school assignments or sports scores between classes.

"So when are the impending nuptials anyway?" he breathed out casually. He'd taken a lot of hits that morning to be able to ask the question.

"Oh you finally want to know?" Nate returned in slight annoyance. Chuck shouldn't blame him he guessed; he'd been a pretty shitty friend lately.

Well sorry for his fucking life falling apart.

He merely stared at him, waiting for his answer.

Nate released a loud breath and stared ahead as they made their way to French. "Not until June."

Chuck's brain was already working slowly at the moment, but it seemed to take even longer to fully understand Nate's words. His tongue was heavy when he finally responded.

"Why?" was all he could ask.

Nate shrugged, and then shook his head. He opened the door for them. "It's what Blair wants."

The door nearly slammed back into Chuck as his feet stuck on the floor. Nate gave him a funny look before sitting down in his usual seat, but Chuck barely registered that. He walked in an already amplified daze as he found his seat for the class, and more so than usual, he did not pay one ounce of attention to the lesson being taught, though his mind was fairly occupied.

Blair was set on Nate, she'd made that perfectly clear. And she'd dreamed of marrying him since she was in kindergarten. So why on earth would she postpone the fulfillment of her most treasured dream?

Of course, June was when school ended, and it was pretty understandable that she did not want to be the one Junior in the whole state of New York that was married. And sure, this gave her the time to plan the proper wedding she'd been wishing for her whole life.

But something told him there was more to this desire for postponing.

He decided he did not need another joint to get through the rest of the day. He wanted his mind to be clear so that he could watch her, something he had previously forbid himself from doing.

She was supposed to have conceived in the middle of December, so that would make her more than two months along now. But she was still as skinny as ever, perhaps more so, and she still had the lining of exhaustion under her eyes. She was not in control of the school anymore and she had lost much of the confidence, the sparkle such power gave her. Even when she was with Nate or Serena, he saw that her eyes did not change from the dulled sadness that had set in them. She was still as careful about her appearance; never was a tightly coiled curl out of place or her lips perfectly lined in anything but red. But he knew by now that that was indicative of her spiraling just the same as his own wild nights the last few weeks were his.

And for the first time in a while, he felt like he could breathe again.

Over the next week he found himself going out less and less. He didn't need drugs to get him through the school day anymore, and he found his time after school being taken up so that he didn't have time to go to the latest clubs. He hung out with Nate more. Even his grades improved a little

And no one needed to know about the baby books he'd had Arthur purchase laying under his bed.

He tried to be more cordial with her, greeting her every morning at school. She didn't make it easy. But he wasn't going to let that stop him anymore.

"Don't tell me that's your fucking lunch, Waldorf," he told her one afternoon near the end of the month. She was sitting at a table in the school coutryard, far away from her old spot on the Met steps. Serena was out sick and Nate was having extra lacrosse practice that afternoon, so he knew she'd be alone.

She glanced up at him, about to stick a baby carrot in her mouth. It was one of ten, proportionately balanced by a second container of grapes. A large thermos sat between the two plastic squares. And that appeared to be all she would eat.

He saw the anger spark in her eye, and she pointedly shoved the carrot in her mouth and began chewing. "Did you know?" she asked, opening the box of grapes haughtily. "The least amount of weight you are required to gain during a pregnancy is fourteen pounds. That's how much Victoria Beckham gained for each of her three pregnancies, and they all turned out fine." She popped the grape in her mouth and smiled acidly at him.

He sat down heavily and sighed. "You're an idiot." He took out a health bar from his pocket and handed it to her. "And here."

She eyed the bar warily, though he had made sure it was the high quality organic kind and with a seemingly appealing taste of peanut butter and chocolate. She snatched it from his palm and turned it around to look at the ingredients.

After a second's perusal, she shook her head and exclaimed, "This is practically all carbs!"

He snatched it back from her and ripped open the packaging. "It's a balance of protein and whole grains," he growled at her. "Which is supposed to help you with your dizzy spells." She still looked at it with disdain, so he broke off a piece and quickly shoved it into her surprised mouth.

She glared at him with wide, indignant eyes, but chewed; Blair Waldorf would never be caught spitting out food for anything, and as she chewed, her ire lessened. When she swallowed, she paused for only a second before rolling her eyes and holding out her hand for the rest. He dropped it into her palm and she took another bite, not looking at him.

When she finished the bar, she was only slightly less acid to him. "Well, thank you for shopping at places that know how to combine health with taste."

He took her school bag which had been placed at her feet and opened the top. When she noticed, she tried to grab it back from him, but he blocked her advances. "Well, I got you the multi-variety kind, so you'll get to taste all the different flavors." He upended a large box of the health bars into her bag. "I'm sure the store would love to hear your opinion on each."

He closed her now full bag once again and dropped it onto her knees. She shoved it off of her, causing it to fall directly on her leather clad right foot. She winced as she lashed out at him, "This is all totally unnecessary! I know how to take care of myself, Bass."

He rolled his eyes. "So says the girl who wants to eat twenty calories a day."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I have a wedding dress to fit."

The reminder still tore through him, much as he liked to ponder on the reasons for her avoidance of it. He felt his jaw tighten, but he forced a small smirk on his face.

"That's right," he said mockingly, as if the date was not constantly pressing on his mind. "In June right? Why the long wait?"

He watched the struggle for control on her face. She quickly gathered up her things, but took a parting shot before leaving the table.

"So I never have to see you or anyone else here ever again after I start my perfect life."

The bell rang quickly after and he made his way to his locker. He found Nate standing nearby, and for once he was grateful for it.

"You need to be watching what she eats more, Archibald," he ground out, opening his locker to start gathering books for the next class.

His friend's head turned to look at him. "What- who?"

Chuck shoved a book forcefully into his bag. "Blair," he bit out.

Nate slumped to the side. "I have been trying," he insisted. "But she bites my head off about everything now."

Chuck paused to give him a one-second death stare. "So bite back."

Nate raked a hand through his hair. "I can't do that- she's pregnant and hormonal and I don't want to give her more reasons to be upset."

Chuck let out a long breath in exasperation. "She's already going to be upset and angry and bat-shit crazy all the time. You can't control that, but you can control how much food goes into that obnoxious mouth of hers."

He finally slammed his locker shut, then shoved a book at Nate's chest. "Read it, study it, memorize it," he stated, and they began walking towards class.

His friend looked down at the book for much longer than it took to merely read the title.

"_What to Expect When You're Expecting_? Dude, you got me a baby book?" Nate asked in complete disbelief. "And since when did you turn into... the Dr. Phil of pregnancy?" he laughed lightly.

Chuck opened the door to their class sharply and did not glance back at his friend when he gave his reply. "Since my mother died giving birth to me."

He sat down into his seat and did not look at Nate for the rest of the period.

He supposed he should have expected this of Nate. How often did he see him excited and caught up in something new- whether it was a girl, a sport, or a plan for his life- and then as time passed by the novelty ran out and he grew dissatisfied. But he had hoped for the sake of the situation alone that this would be different.

Although, Nate never voiced his discontent outright. It was always just a thread or tone of voice in whatever he said. Neither did he allow it to show when he was with Blair. He only ever relaxed enough to say such things around Chuck.

Like one day in early March when Chuck invited him to go to an upcoming Knick's game.

"Can't man," Nate shook his head, sighing a little. "We've got our first ultrasound that day."

Chuck frowned, looking away. By his calculations, Blair was nearly done with her first trimester.

"Isn't that a little late?" he asked in an annoyed voice.

Nate stared at him with that look that showed he was still shocked at his following up on the pregnancy of his best friend's girlfriend. He paused for a bit. "I guess. Blair was the one to set it up."

Of course.

Nate brought up a hand to rub his forehead, and he leaned against the wall of the school courtyard where they were. "I keep trying, but she doesn't want to talk about anything. Not about getting married, or the baby or-" he threw his hands up in the air in exasperation- "_anything! _All she does is throw up and sleep."

Well maybe you would too if you were going to marry such a fucking pussy.

And he was really getting tired of this.

"Well her boobs look amazing," Chuck blurted out, unable to hide the jealousy in his voice. And because he'd noticed for a while now. "I'm sure you're enjoying that perk."

Nate rolled his eyes. "Hardly," he muttered.

Chuck would normally have stayed far away from the subject of possible relations between Nate and Blair, but then, if they weren't having relations...

"What's this, Archibald?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. "Are you not utilizing those rampant pregnancy libidos I hear about?"

"Please," Nate scoffed. "She won't even let me touch her. She's sore everywhere and tired and can barely eat anything. And she makes no sense- literally _no sense-_ about anything anymore. Dude-" he leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "Yesterday she bit me for buying her some pregnancy underwear. She _bit_ me!"

Chuck laughed so loudly the students around them turned to stare. This conversation was going way better than he could have dreamed of, and was surprisingly informing him of details he so very much wanted to know.

And he remembered well her teeth on his skin and it was no joke- the minx could bite _hard_.

He told Nate some tips for regulating mood swings he'd come across in his readings as they made their way to class.

Sometimes he wondered himself why he was doing all this, because it really wasn't his responsibility.

Technically.

Possibly.

But while there was that possibility that it might not be his- he just couldn't do anything. There was no way to check the paternity just yet, and he could see every second that she was at her breaking point- why make it that much worse?

And if- after breaking up their relationship and telling everyone of their secret affair and planning and hoping for months- if he found out he wasn't the father in the end...

It was devastating enough to merely think of.

For just now, this was all he would allow himself to do.

Not to mention, did he even want to be a father? Of course he was obsessed with the thought of winning against Nate and of owning a part of Blair, had been ever since the start of all this. But when he really thought about it- of being a parent to a child in just a few months... well, it scared him shitless. He was sure he'd be a terrible parent- hell, he didn't even know if he could be a boyfriend right now.

There was one thing he knew.

If it was his, he would never abandon it. He would learn what it takes to be a good father and he would try and try until he made it. But it was something he could never give up on.

It was the same with Blair. If she just gave him a chance; if he knew he had her heart- he'd do everything in his power to keep it. He'd probably make a lot of mistakes, but he'd swear he'd never desert them.

And it was this alone that gave him hope.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Blair had never imagined what hell to be like, until she found out what a first trimester of pregnancy was like. She was so very tired all of the time, found herself even nodding off in class at times. When she got home from school she took an immediate nap, which sometimes turned to several hours long. And when she was awake she felt sick. Morning sickness she found was a complete lie because you didn't just get it during the morning- in her case she just seemed to get it for any food presented to her. It was like her senses were heightened and she could smell with horrible keenness any wafting scent near her.

But maybe it would be less hellish if the she wasn't so very depressed all of the time. Nate called it "mood swings", but really, what other way was there to react to the destruction of your life? Of course, she still had him and that was what mattered most, but now he was the only thing in her life. It didn't mean that letting go of all of those other things she loved wasn't hard.

She hated school now. She should have known that her status would be knocked down once her pregnancy got out, but she still felt caught off guard when it happened.

Everyone knew about them going to the abortion clinic when the Gossip Girl blast came out last Friday. It would be the first time they were seen at school since then and they were holding hands with a sparkling diamond on her ring finger. She was scared and so she stayed with Nate while they waited for the morning bell to ring, mostly keeping her eyes on the floor.

But nothing could be helped when classes began and she had to separate from him entirely. She was shaking when she arrived at the door of her first class, so she forced herself to take a deep breath and raised her head. She walked in and stared down anyone looking at her, which was most students in the class. The teacher thankfully started before anyone could ask her anything.

But by the end of class Gossip Girl blasted a new picture of her with her ring showcased.

She managed to delay telling the story to her group of friends until lunch time. Serena stood by her at their familiar circle on the Met steps when they first arrived.

They were busy chatting, but suddenly quieted into total silence as they looked at them. They were giving some fairly cold looks, and all directed at Blair.

"Hey-" Serena began in a hard voice. "Anyone who doesn't want Blair to sit with you, doesn't want me to sit with you either."

Some of the girls adjusted their skirts, looking down. But Penelope spoke up.

"Sure, you can sit here, B." She smiled falsely at her. "As long as you keep your legs closed when you do."

A few giggles broke out among the group and Blair felt ready to turn back, but Serena held her in place.

"Right," she replied, glaring down at her. "Because we all know how good you are at doing that, P." She furrowed her brow as if thinking hard. "Hmm, wasn't that some middle-aged CEO I saw you having sex with in the back of a bar last week? Or no, that was two weeks ago-_ last_ week was the bouncer of that new club. The one that was bald with an earring." She giggled herself. "Oh, you know, it's so hard to keep up on these things with you."

Penelope only glared back.

Serena set her jaw. "Like I said, if you want us both to be here, you better keep your mouth shut."

And, with her arm still linked with Blair's, she walked to the top step and promptly sat down.

"So, who saw those new green Louboutins in Bendels the other day?" Serena prompted cheerily.

The girls slid into mindless chatter for a few minutes for which Blair was very grateful. She honestly would prefer to never talk about her situation with the girls ever, if only because in those few moments she could pretend it wasn't happening to her- that she was just a normal high school girl again.

Perhaps it would have remained so until Jenny Humphrey arrived.

"Oh my gosh, Blair!" she exclaimed in delight, as if they were old friends who hadn't seen each other in a long time. "I'm so excited for you- let me see the ring!"

Blair stared haughtily down at her. She had almost completely forgotten little J's knowledge of her predicament until now and it was like one last heavy stone added to the burden on her back. But of course there was nothing she could do about it, so she reluctantly held her hand out for Jenny to inspect.

"Wow, the Vanderbilt diamond," she oohed. She then walked up straight to the top of the steps where Blair and Serena were and sat smoothly down. "So when are you going to get married?"

The other girls around her stared with raised eyebrows. Jenny was barely trained, she had barely been allowed to sit with them previously, let alone on the top step. Blair, for a second, contemplated pushing her off and watching her roll down them.

"Oh, and are you going to keep the baby?!" she pressed in a loud voice that everyone within ten feet could hear.

Blair gritted her teeth, feeling her nails cut into her palm.

"Jenny," Serena cut in, in a soft voice. "Blair doesn't want to talk about that."

"No," Blair rebutted in a sedate voice. "I might as well make it clear now." She drew her head high and looked down coldly at the girls in the group. "Nate and I are getting married in June and yes," she placed a hand on her belly. "Of course, we're keeping our baby."

Some gasps broke out among the group and a few questions were asked about how it felt to be pregnant. Blair answered them stiffly and just when it seemed the conversation would turn away from her pregnancy, Jenny spoke up again.

"Well thank god you don't have to question who the father is." She smiled sweetly at her. "Isn't that right, B?"

Blair felt her heart stop, but she did not look away. She had just been hoping so much that Jenny would not use this against her, but obviously she had misjudged the girl. From the corner of her eye, she saw Serena lean closer with wide eyes.

Jenny shrugged, still with that smile on her face. "I mean, for most girls this thing happens to, they just can't be sure. But, of course _you_ are, Blair."

Blair paused for just a second before forcing a smile on her face. "That's right." She turned to the other girls, her tone suddenly much brighter than before. "Nate's been so wonderful during all of this. Do you want to know how he proposed?"

The girls gathered closer to hear the tale and Blair made sure it was something much more romantic than it had actually been. But all the while her heart beat rapidly and she felt slightly faint. It was as if she could feel Jenny's eyes burning into her and she absolutely loathed that such a little girl, from Brooklyn no less, could have so much power over her. Serena, she could tell as well, knew there was something wrong and did not join in on the conversation as cheerfully as she might have usually.

Serena called her later that day to assure her that she had confronted Jenny and made her promise she would not say anything about what she'd found out. But the next day, Jenny still sat at the top of the steps with a smug smile on her face, all of the girls listening raptly to the stories she told.

And Blair was just so tired, and sick, and did not need the pressure of sitting with that bitch, so she decided to stay with Nate during lunch breaks. He normally had his lunches with Chuck, but then, that was another good reason for her to spend that time with him.

He was not a part of her life anymore, but of course she received all of the gossip girl blasts of his constant partying ever since that day she and Nate walked hand in hand to school together. And that just confirmed all the more to her that she was making the right decision. He never even tried to talk to her during those weeks, never gave her a second glance- not that she wanted him to! She knew that whatever intrigue her situation had held for him before, this was the lifestyle he would always love, always return to. How stupid of her to think for even one second that it could be any different.

And then it suddenly stopped. Nate stopped complaining about lack of interaction with his friend- which was good because Nate seemed to complain a lot lately and it gave her such headaches. But that was probably another symptom of the pregnancy. And then they started hanging out after school like they used to. Blair would have been suspicious, but honestly, Chuck would have spilled the secret a long time ago if he wanted to, and it was nice to have some time to herself.

But then he started greeting her when they occasionally passed at school. She never responded back of course, but it was aggravating all the same. She almost believed that he was simply trying to go back to the friendly camaraderie they'd had before all of this, except she knew him too well for that.

And that's when he started with his stupid food lectures. He only waited until a time when she was alone at lunch because both Nate and Serena were gone and then had the gall to give her some carb-loaded "health" bar- tasting like heaven though it may- and telling her about what she should be eating. As if he would know!

Soon, he would pass by the table she and Nate usually sat at during lunch with some "extra" food he just couldn't finish (as if Chuck Bass would ever order two foot long roasted tomato caprese sandwiches anyway!), or some large delivery of food would arrive for any inane reason, such as for the Constance Junior class societal president, which was her and her alone.

And she told herself that he was just doing it to make her fat because he wanted to see her total destruction.

But she reluctantly admitted, to herself and only herself, that he seemed to have good taste in cuisine.

That wasn't to say that Nate wasn't taking care of her either. In fact, one day after she had been so aggravated by him that she'd actually bit him, he came back with all of these good ideas for how she could de-stress. He'd stood by her through everything and never complained, and everyday he just grew more and more mature.

It didn't matter that she wanted to rip his head off so many times a day. That was a normal symptom of pregnancy, she knew at least that.

He was definitely the one she should choose, she was sure. No question about it.

It was in the beginning of March when they were doing homework together after school and she opened his bag to find a textbook for him when she found something else.

"You bought a book for the baby?" she asked in surprise, holding it in her hands as she looked over the familiar title. She glanced over at him, her heart fluttering just a little.

But he ducked his head a little. "Actually Chuck gave it to me," he admitted sheepishly.

Blair immediately dropped the book.

"But I've been skimming through it," he tried again.

Blair's nostrils flared for a second while she considered burning the book. But, well, what did it matter that he'd given the book to Nate- it just meant that he wasn't reading it himself. This was just another friendship thing for them, he was trying to be a good pal to Nate again- trying to get in his good graces.

So she picked up the book and sat back on the couch, snuggling close to her fiancee. "Let's read it together," she proposed, and he looked happy, most likely cautiously relieved that she hadn't snapped at him.

March 18th was the date they had finally scheduled for the first ultrasound. Blair had pushed it back for as long as she could, but, once she passed into her second trimester, Serena especially started harping on her to get one set up so she did. She remembered the one from the clinic so long ago it seemed now and how real it made everything seem. It wasn't a feeling she was looking forward to.

But this time would be different, she told herself, because she would have Nate with her.

But that was all crushed when he took her aside after school on the day of the appointment. Of course he'd had to do it with Chuck right there.

"What do you mean you can't go?" she asked, her anger making her voice come out louder than normally.

"It's for my dad," Nate explained with a hand on her shoulder. "He's in his last few weeks of rehab and his counselor wants some family therapy style thing, so..." he shrugged. "And he didn't know about the date of the ultrasound."

She only looked down, her arms crossed in front of her, expelling a long breath of air.

"But, look," Nate continued, forcing his voice to be light. "Chuck said he'd go in my place."

Her eyes shot up to him, then shifted to see the basstard himself standing by Nate. He was watching with an amused expression on his face.

"I can do it alone," she assured him quickly.

"I want you to go with someone else." Nate's voice lowered slightly and he looked at her meaningfully. "You know if you don't go with someone else, you won't go and you'll just push back the appointment again."

"It's really not necessary," she whispered in a panic.

But he continued to direct her to the limo- the Bass limo she now recognized. "It's okay, Blair. Chuck actually has a surprising amount of knowledge about all this baby stuff," he told her with a smile.

She did not dare turn to see the expression on _his_ face, because she could bet there would be some big stupid smirk on it. So she finally allowed herself to duck under the door of the limo, but made her way to the very end of the seat, nearest to the driver.

"Hey, thanks for doing this, man," she heard Nate say from outside.

"Oh, believe me," Chuck replied in a slow drawl. "It's no problem at all."

Nate popped his head into the car once more and waved at her. "Tell me everything about it when I get back. And get a picture, okay?"

She waved a single finger in his direction.

She heard him sigh tiredly then said goodbye to Chuck. Chuck slid onto the back seat, closing the door behind him.

They simply sat in silence for a few seconds.

"Does this thing actually move or what?" she pouted, stomping her foot onto the expensive leather.

"Perhaps you were used to a different kind of motion in here before," he replied lazily. She started to get up, heading for the door, but he stopped her with a hand. "I was simply waiting for you to give directions to the place."

She gave him the name and he told his driver before sliding the partition back up.

She kept her eyes on the moving scenery. It was so much better now that she had passed the fourteenth week mark. She hardly felt any nausea anymore and she was generally in a better mood. Though considering the situation she was in now, any irritability would be automatically explained.

"You look like you're feeling better, Waldorf," she heard him say from his spot in the back.

"I am," she agreed, folding her hands over her stomach. "Nate has really been taking care of me. Massages, foot rubs, spa treatments- the works."

"I see," he continued smoothly. "Did he use the cypress and bergamot oil combination I suggested?"

"Why yes, as a matter of fact-" her speech halted as she realized what he said, and turned to him in confusion. "What do you mean _you_ suggested?"

He sat back more comfortably in the seat. "Bergamot is often used in clinics to treat depression, and I have to say, you've been looking pretty depressed these last few months, Waldorf. And cypress, I'm sure you'll be happy to know, prevents varicose veins."

Her mouth was open in her angered shock as she stared at him. She had thought it so sweet when Nate had suggested a bath for her with exotic sounding oils. Now the memory was... tainted.

She folded her arms across her chest. "Well, I'm sure you just picked that up from all of your whoring with massage therapists."

He shook his head and replied sarcastically, "Right, and they've always suggested treatments for pregnant women while orgasming."

She continued glaring out the window, her foot tapping in a staccato fashion but saying nothing. Thankfully they arrived at the center only a few minutes later.

He opened the door for her and held out his hand to help her. She grasped the frame of the limo instead, stumbling slightly as stepped out.

He sighed as he closed the door. "Is all of this avoidance of touching me really necessary? Or do you just not trust your hormones that much?"

Her head whipped back to glare at him and it was a few seconds before she could form a reply. "I have a baby to protect; I'm trying to avoid things that are _filthy_."

He only smirked back and held the door of the building open for her.

The wait was not long because she had chosen one of the higher end care centers on the upper east side. It was a nice facility with relaxing decor. She was still greatly annoyed to have _him_ following after her as she walked through the white hallway. Honestly, she thought he was just doing all of these things to kill her with aggravation.

The nurse took her weight and stats as normal, and she cringed slightly when she saw the number. Granted, she had only gained eight pounds so far, which she was very proud of, but seeing the numerical total of her weight was a different thing altogether.

They were then ushered into the room. Blair sat on the seat with the crinkly paper and Chuck sat in one of the comfortable looking armchairs on the side of the room. Soon after, the doctor arrived.

"Good afternoon," a middle-aged woman with a clipboard in her hand called out as she closed the door. "I'm Dr. Morgan, and you're Blair, right?"

Blair nodded her head. The woman then gestured to the other person in the room.

"And this is the father of the baby?" the doctor asked politely.

"No," Blair cut in.

"Possibly," Chuck interrupted drily. An uncomfortable silence ensued as both women stared at him. He raised a hand into the air. "It's a complicated situation."

The doctor cleared her throat. "Be that as it may, it's good that you have someone with you for your first ultrasound, Blair. I noticed from your records that you're already into your second trimester. Was there a reason you wanted to wait?"

Blair looked down at her knees. "We just couldn't find a convenient time."

"Well, that's perfectly fine," she assured her. "In fact, we should definitely be able to hear the heartbeat today." She walked over to ready the equipment.

"Excuse me, doctor?" Chuck began in a polite tone.

The woman turned to him. "Yes?"

"Isn't she supposed to undress?" he asked with a slight leer.

Blair looked to the doctor in a panic. The doctor brought up a hand and assured her, "Only if you'd like to Blair."

She immediately shook her head. "No, thank you."

"More's the pity," she heard her idiot companion mutter.

She gritted her teeth to keep from verbalizing all of the names she wanted to call him right then.

"If you would just lay back and lift up your shirt a little Blair," Dr. Morgan instructed as she sat next to her, flipping on the switches on the machine near them.

Blair complied, feeling slightly self-conscious as she did, knowing that Chuck's eyes would be on her exposed skin. There was, however, in no way a bump on her stomach; it was just a little more round. Yet having him here like this, seeing her in this way, felt more intimate than she would prefer.

He spoke up again. "Dr, Morgan, I do have a real question, actually."

The woman turned to him, looking slightly skeptical.

"I notice that Blair hasn't gained a lot of weight, and I was wondering if that was normal?"

The doctor nodded. "There is a lot of variation in weight gain for many women, so it's hard to say what should be normal for each." She returned her gaze to Blair now. "I did notice though, Blair, that you were slightly underweight before getting pregnant. And that's okay, but it does mean you should try to gain 30-40 pounds during your pregnancy."

Blair's eyes bulged slightly at the thought of putting on that much weight.

"Of course, this should always be done with nutritious foods. Some women go a little overboard with this 'eating for two' concept, when all you need to consume is an extra 300 calories a day."

Blair was still looking displeased.

"You can still do some safe exercises, and also, what with your being so young, your body should bounce back fairly easily after giving birth," the doctor assured her quickly, then squeezed some of the clear liquid onto her stomach. She switched on the machine and the swirling black and white images formed on the screen in front of them.

"Alright, so you're at around four months now Blair. The baby is pretty close to having everything formed, including the sex of the baby, although we can't see it on the ultrasound just yet. Right there," she pointed at the screen. "is the head, and I see an arm over here, and..."

The doctor continued pointing out the different body parts and Blair could only stare at the screen. She had looked at plenty of pregnancy websites- she wasn't totally reckless about her health- and seen the pictures of the growing fetus on a week-by-week basis. For most of the first trimester, it had looked like some pink salamander; a weird, alien kind of thing. Totally unattractive. But now, and especially seeing it on the screen, it looked more like a baby should. And she couldn't believe that it was inside of her now.

She was going to be a mother.

And for so long she had pushed against it, ran away from the idea, but now- now it just might be okay. Because whatever happened now, she would have someone who needed her.

She felt tears prick at her eyes and she wanted to blame her wild pregnancy emotions, but she felt like it might not be true at the moment.

She didn't want to look at his face. It was not because she was afraid to see an expression of apathy or fear on it; it was because she was beginning to expect the exact opposite from him. And she was afraid of when Chuck Bass would become the better choice for her. It made things so much easier when he was the last person to rely on. When he was simply an uncouth, immature boy who only cared about sex.

But she could hear, as if with highly sensitive ears, the quickening of his breath. For a split second she thought of reaching out to take his hand, but then realized that that was entirely stupid. So she clenched her hand to her side instead.

The doctor turned off the machine. "Would you like to hear the heartbeat now, Blair?"

She sat up, wiping at her eyes. "No, I think that's all for today."

The doctor nodded. "Alright, but make sure you at least schedule for an amniocentesis test soon."

Blair looked up from fixing her clothing. "A what?"

"Amniocentesis tests the fluid in your amniotic sac to see if there are any genetic abnormalities or infections." At the look on Blair's face, the doctor reassured her, "Don't worry, it's a standard test for everyone and most things shouldn't come as a surprise if you know your family history."

Blair nodded quickly and gathered her things. She thanked the doctor on the way out and made an appointment two weeks from then.

"I'm glad she brought it up so I didn't have to," Chuck commented while walking her out of the building.

"What do you mean?" Blair asked cautiously.

Chuck opened the door to the limo and this time she used the hand that he proffered her as she bent down into the vehicle.

"The amnio test," he clarified as he slid down beside her. "It's also a very effective paternity test." He shut the door with a smirk.

She stared forward as the implications of what she had just done sunk in. She shifted her body away from him.

"What exactly makes you think you'd be a good father anyway, Bass?" she asked with little kindness.

And he might take it as an insult but for her it was a real question.

He paused in his answer, and she felt perhaps a slight amount of guilt for what she'd said because she had proof of what he'd been trying to do, how he'd been trying to help her over the past few months.

That still didn't mean she trusted him with her life- with the life of her child.

"What makes you think you'd be a good mother?" he shot back, and there was a rawness in his tone that told her she'd struck deep with her previous words.

She laid her head on the backseat of the limo and closed her eyes. "I don't think I will be," she muttered.

She would be a bad mother and he would be a bad father. Because they had only the example of their own parents so how could they become anything different? And with the combination of the two it would be utterly disastrous.

She waited, perhaps unconsciously, for him to say something. But the stretch from the center to her house was filled only with silence.

Once the limo stopped she gathered up her things. She finally faced him, and the tight expression on his face nearly took away her words. But she couldn't go without giving a parting shot.

"You see? That's why I'm counting on Nate," she said and slammed the door behind her.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: I know you guys wanted Chuck's perspective and I was going to try and include some in here, but it just didn't work right. Don't worry, we will find out what his thoughts in the next chapter. Oh, and I had to ignore some aspects of what went down in the real show, such as Georgina's involvement.

Chapter 9

Time passed in a hurry. That's what it seemed like to Blair, anyway. She kept hoping to slow time down, giving herself more and more projects to concentrate on. At first she had the SATs to study for until the middle of April, writing college essays, and then getting ready for upcoming final tests. She used up every minute- burying herself in books and strategy tests, secluding herself from her family and even Nate at times.

Anything to keep her mind off her upcoming wedding.

It had always been something that she simply did not want to think about. It seemed her life would end with her final day of school and so she did no planning for it. She had no idea what she would do for the summer, where her honeymoon would be, what her life would be like. Her mother took care of every part of preparation for the ceremony. All she had to do was stand while they took her measurements from time to time.

And _he_ still made his way in her life. She became suspicious now of any facts or remedies that Nate suggested, asking him where he got such information. Most of the time, it all led back to Chuck.

As soon as she got out of the limo the day of the ultrasound, she had gone up to her room, called the hospital, and changed the date of her amniocentesis test. She would still get one of course since the doctor said it was important, but she didn't need him to be ready, blood test in hand, waiting for the results. She'd had it done April 20th, and was told that the results would be ready several weeks from then.

Something had changed fundamentally for her on that day though. It was the day she could no longer ignore the life inside her, pretend that it wasn't going to happen. And in a way, it made it worse because while before she was apathetic, now she was terribly afraid. She was so frightened of being a mother, it gave her nightmares in the night.

His words from that day, and also the lack there of, made her cringe when she thought about it. She hated that for one second she had actually considered having him be the father- of being with him. He couldn't believe that he'd be a good father, and he couldn't even tell her that she'd be a good mother. So why did he care?

But she couldn't deny that she stared at him differently now. He made her nervous when she was around him. So she tried to keep away from him as much as possible.

Before she knew it, it was the middle of May and she and Nate were set to attend the wedding of Bart Bass to Lily van der Woodsen. Blair would have liked to decline, knowing whom she would see there, but Nate, and Serena as well, convinced her to come.

It was just a little nerve-wracking, getting ready for the event. Visions of her own wedding two weeks from now kept popping into her head and it made her hand unsteady when trying to do her make-up.

While Nate picked out their seats, she sought out Serena, finding her in one of the nearby rooms.

"Hey," she said softly as she came in. Her friend was sitting on the couch and looking a little forlorn.

She sat down, and tried to keep her voice light. "How go the prenuptials?"

"Well my mom's done this enough times you'd think she'd be a pro by now, but I don't know, her heart doesn't really seem in it."

Blair stiffened immediately. The images flashed through her mind again.

She cleared her throat a little. "Do you think this will be us in twenty years?" she joked lightly. "Onto our fourth husbands?"

Serena reached out to take her hand and shook her head. "Of course not. You and Nate will always be together."

Blair swallowed nervously. It was probably a bad thing that such a sentence brought such fear into her heart. Cold feet was one thing, but this...

She squeezed Serena's hand and forced a bright smile on her face. "Tell me about what's going on with Dan?" she asked, in a desperate attempt at distraction.

After talking with her friend, Blair made her way to her seat, spotting Nate amidst the crowd. When she was settled, she took in the atmosphere. It was an outside setting with garlands of flowers and gauze intertwined in arches. And she would concentrate on them so she did not focus her eyes on the best man standing next to Bart the whole time.

Nate took her hand. "Just two weeks until ours," he whispered, looking into her eyes.

Blair's smile stiffened on her face and she quickly turned her eyes back to the stage. The words had sent a small tornado through her mind and she now viewed everything as if it was her own wedding day. When Lily, clad in sweeping white, glided down the aisle, she pictured herself doing so. She watched the bride and groom exchanging vows and rings and wondered if she would do so as sedately and controlled as they appeared to be.

With Nate, probably. But, as she spied the best man standing next to Bart, she imagined it would be a very different ceremony. Lavish décor, bright- almost contrasting- colors, never traditional vows; he would probably make faces at her while the priest spoke...

Why on earth was she thinking of this? It was completely ludicrous!

This was the effects of pregnancy.

She locked her jaw and pointedly focused on the couple getting married in front of her.

But, before long, she finally had to look down at her lap because her eyes kept drifting back to him and how nice he looked in a tux.

The ceremony ended and all the guests were led into the Palace's reception hall. Nate and she dined on their entrees, which were superb. Chuck came by to ask Nate about something and she pointedly looked down at her meal.

"I'll be back in a minute," Nate told her and she simply nodded, not looking up.

Within a few minutes she had finished her meal and was simply drawing her fork along the plate, swirling her potato au gratin. They had not been placed at the most exciting of tables- Blair thought Chuck must have had some influence with this- and without Nate she was only left with two older men talking animatedly about sports.

"It was a banner year for the Knicks, no doubt," she heard one say, Mr. Baizen, if she recalled correctly.

"Absolutely," the second voiced, although she wasn't sure who he was. "Outstanding."

She tuned them out for awhile, going back to the malleable art form left on her plate. She wondered idly where Serena was as she couldn't see her at the head table.

"Oh Blair," Mr. Baizen's voice pulled her out of her reverie and she glanced up to see him turned towards her. "Be sure to tell Nate that he can join us again in my box seats whenever he wants."

"Oh," she said in slight surprise. She knew Nate almost always only attended Knick's games with Chuck and that they usually sat court-side. "I wasn't aware that he'd ever used them before."

"Yes," the older man nodded. "He called me back sometime in March and asked if he could use them."

She stared at him as something clicked inside her brain.

"Excuse me, when exactly was that?" she asked a little stiffly.

He looked up at the ceiling, like he was trying to remember. "Ah, let's see, that was the week of the Muriel deal, so... March 20th, maybe? No it was a Friday, so it must've been the 18th."

She seemed to have forgotten how to blink as she thanked him and turned back to her plate. The 18th was the date of their baby's first sonogram. He was the one to ensure she got it done, he was the one who had nagged at her to finally set it up. And yet he had missed it to go to his dad's therapy session- which was probably all a lie! She couldn't believe it. She wanted to find him right now and tear off his head, and then how would he watch those stupid basketball games?

And she was about to, when the noise of clinking glass stopped her.

"I'd like to propose a toast," her head whipped around to see Chuck standing at the head table, note cards in hand, looking out over the crowd. She settled herself once more in her seat, and turned her full attention to him.

"My father," Chuck began, his voice light and yet not with the typical Bass bravado she was accustomed to hearing. "Is someone who goes after what he wants, and Lily van der Woodsen was no exception. In typical Bass-men fashion, his pursuit was direct and, at times, not exactly subtle."

His eyes met hers across the room and she gulped, feeling like that one gaze pierced through her and saw all of her secrets.

He dropped the cards he'd been reading from and then continued. "One thing I learned from my father's courtship of Lily is the importance of perseverance. That in the face of true love you don't just give up- even when the object of your affection is begging you to."

The crowd chuckled at this statement, but Blair could not find anything humorous in it. She was having trouble keeping her breathing even. It felt as if he were speaking everything directly at her, and had it been a conversation whispered only between the two of them... she might be led to do something she should not do.

"And one thing I learned from Lily is the importance of forgiveness. She gave my father the gift of a second chance and in kind, I've seen him become someone worthy of that gift. And one day," he looked directly at her, eyes burning and tone softening. "I hope I'll be lucky enough to find someone who will do the same for me."

Blair felt like bursting into tears for some strange reason. It was simply because this was all too confusing. He wasn't supposed to say things like that! He was supposed to be crass and blunt and sarcastic and completely unable to articulate feelings!

But then, she'd thought that Nate couldn't do things like skip out on baby appointments in order to watch a basketball game.

Chuck ended his speech and the audience applauded. The bride and groom began their first dance.

And Nate was still not back and maybe he had gone to watch a football game while out, so obviously he didn't care what she did with herself. So she stood up from her seat, marched over to where Chuck was leaning against a column, and opened her mouth.

"You're going to dance with me," she ordered.

He looked slightly surprised, but certainly pleased and stepped forward to assume the position.

She made sure his hand stayed in her hand and not on her waist and she kept considerable distance between them as they began to sway to the music.

"So when do you get the test results back?" he asked, with a serious look in his eye.

She faltered a little as she remembered his knowledge of that test, although she probably should not be surprised by now that he would remember. "We'll hear the results at my doctor's appointment in five days. What's it to you?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Why else do you think I've been waiting so patiently?"

She stared at him, clenching her jaw together. He smirked back at her.

"Don't you have a lot of things to plan for your wedding?" he asked. "Isn't that cutting it a little tight?"

She frowned slightly as she realized this. "Well I didn't think about that when I was scheduling it," she admitted.

His smirk increased, and it seemed like the first time he got his confident swagger back. "I can just bet you're not thinking about the wedding. You don't want to think about it at all."

"I didn't mean it like that," she quickly backtracked.

"That's not what I see," he murmured, dropping her hand to place his on her waist, pressing her closer to him. "You're dreading every day that makes it come closer."

"Why?" she asked breathily. "It's everything I've dreamed of since I was a little girl."

He stared at her hard for a second before answering. "Dreams can change," he offered, then quirked his head to the side. "What do you dream about now?"

Her cheeks grew hot immediately. She had her nightmares of being a mother, yes, but at the moment, she could only think about the other dreams that plagued her. It was, as she had read, totally normal for pregnant women to have an increase in libido, and this had mainly manifested for her as sex fantasies at night. The only problem was, _he_ was most often the star of them.

And usually she could keep it in check, but now, with his body right up against hers like this...

"I dream about," she paused, scrambling her brain for how the right answer should sound. "Starting my perfect life in about two weeks."

She saw his jaw tighten, and thought absently that it made him look extremely sexy.

"I've seen it on your face all this time, Waldorf; I can see it now. You don't want this."

She wanted to deny it so badly. But so much of her mind was shouting in agreement.

"You don't belong with Nate," he continued in an intense voice. "Never have, never will."

She realized faintly that she had stopped breathing, and so when she replied, it was slightly hoarse. "So who do I belong with then?" she challenged.

For one second she thought he might reply with the right words, but then knew that it was futile. She could see the fear enter his eyes immediately, the uncertainty. Apparently giving a speech to a crowded room was more comfortable than having some intimate moment between two people.

After swallowing, he answered in a lighter voice. "Someone who would take care of you, for starters."

"Nate's family certainly has enough money," she defended.

"Well, as a matter of fact, the Archibalds are well on their way to bankruptcy as we speak. But I meant more someone who _knows_ how to take care of you."

It was on the tip of her tongue to say that Nate did know how to take care of her, but she realized now that practically all of the things he'd done for her these past few months had been through Chuck's doing really.

"Good thing my family has more than enough to support us," she insisted, pointedly avoiding his meaning.

He was holding her close, probably more than she should allow, but she found herself unable to create the necessary distance away from him. She could smell his cologne, the same that she'd become fond of during their time together in the winter. Her belly protruded enough to touch his stomach, and she enjoyed the warmth she felt from the touch. Her eyes were level with his lips, and it reminded her of just how much she'd always admired them. And the things he could do with them.

He licked his lips, and she swore he was doing it on purpose. That didn't stop her heart rate from increasing at the sight.

Images of their short affair flashed in her mind, and for a second, her mind pondered what would happen if she simply led him to one of the nearby bedrooms in the building.

Except that now she was the size of a small whale and the minute she took her clothes off he whatever attraction she held for him would dissipate immediately. It was the same reason she had never let Nate touch her all these months.

He tried to catch her eye, noting her deep reverie. "What's wrong, Waldorf? Thinking of the honeymoon night?"

It was just scary how clairvoyant he could be at times.

"I'm getting fat," she admitted with a frown.

She'd gained about twenty pounds now, and, while it was mostly in her stomach, she dreaded to think how much more she could gain.

She could see the other guests at the wedding, the women dancing around. They looked beautiful and slim and chic, with dresses cut to reflect their perfect bodies. And here Blair was, forced to wear a voluminous sheath, pretty though the design may be, in an attempt to cover her expanding waistline. But dancing with Chuck, with his hands on her waist, now made the bump on her stomach more prominent than ever.

And he was silent for the longest time, only staring at her, until he finally opened his mouth.

"I think you look good, Blair."

She raised her face slowly to consider him. She was used to preferring words like beautiful, gorgeous, perfect as compliments. And yet, there was something in his tone of voice- the way he was looking at her- that made the simple sentiment eclipse those other words.

And a burst of butterflies exploded in her stomach.

She jerked her head down to see because it wasn't a metaphor- she would swear to god there were butterflies buzzing around in there. Until she realized that the source of the feeling was very different.

"Oh my god," she breathed, pressing her hands to her belly.

"What is it, Blair?" he asked, eyes widened in concern.

And she already had tears in her eyes as she blinked up at him. "I can feel the baby moving inside me."

His eyes grew larger and he swallowed. Slowly, cautiously, he placed his hands on her stomach, and Blair felt the rolling motion in her belly once more. He nearly jumped back, but kept his hands and eyes on her stomach.

"Fuck," he whispered, and she could hear the awe in his voice.

But when he looked up and she saw the expression on his face, it was suddenly too much and she needed to leave. She stepped back from his hold and wiped hurriedly at her eyes.

"I should go tell Nate," she muttered and turned in the other direction.

She heard him call her name and yet she could not slow down. She was sure that she had not seen Nate in the crowd in the reception hall, and so she headed straight for the doors outside. She burst through them and, after looking down the street, saw Nate several feet away.

"Nate!" she called his name and started towards him.

"Blair," he said, making his way over as well. "I was just about to go back in and find yo-"

Blair had finally reached him and without any preamble threw herself into his arms and began kissing him soundly. It took a few minutes before he could react properly, but then his arms wound around her and he was kissing her back.

She broke off only long enough to whisper the words to him. "Take me home."

He hailed over a cab and opened the door for her when it pulled over. She slid in and forced herself not to turn around in case there was a figure in a tuxedo waiting behind them.

The ride home was short and she kept herself occupied with Nate's lips on hers. He would sometimes break off to ask her what had gotten into her, but she only shut him up with more kisses.

They arrived at an empty Waldorf residence while her mother was in Milan and Dorota had the day off. She wasted no time in pulling him upstairs, rushedly taking his clothes off as she went.

And the whole time, the only words she allowed herself to think were '_this is how it's supposed to be. This is what's right for me.'_

Afterward, she lay on her side, facing away from him. He was breathing heavily, but she felt strangely quiet, contemplative almost.

After a fair amount of silence on her part, she heard Nate whisper from behind her. "Are you asleep?"

She took a deep breath and expelled it slowly. "I know you went to that Knicks game instead of going to the ultrasound, Nate," she announced tiredly.

"What?" he asked, sounding astonished.

"Mr. Baizen told me," she explained, her voice even and dead-sounding. "He says you can use his seats anytime you want."

She felt his hand on her shoulder. "Blair, I'm so sorry. It's just... I don't know. I did have that meeting with my dad, but then I felt so much... _pressure._ From my family and," his voice lowered. "From the pregnancy. I just... wanted to escape for a while."

In her mind she wanted to scream, _oh, as if I don't want to escape from this ever!_ She was so furious, she couldn't answer for a moment.

"Blair," he began again, speaking slowly. "My dad tried to leave the country today."

She was so stunned she turned around. The Captain had just gotten out of rehab and was preparing for his upcoming trial. But then, perhaps she shouldn't have been surprised being as all of that family seemed to only want _escape_.

"And you couldn't even tell me," she stated more than asked.

His hand on her shoulder started rubbing her skin. "I needed time to think about it myself."

And that was all fine and dandy except when you considered that they were supposed to be irrevocably tying their lives together in two weeks. How could she do that when they could barely communicate now?

"Nate," she said, turning away from him again. "I don't want to get married."

The hand on her shoulder froze and he stumbled in his answer.

"Are you breaking up with me?"

She took a deep breath before replying.

"No, I'm not saying that," she clarified quietly. "But I don't want to get married. I'm not ready." She closed her eyes. "I don't think you are either."

"Blair, I promise, from now on-"

"Nate," she interrupted in a sedate voice. "I'm serious. I'm not going to marry you in two weeks."

She was met with silence for such a long time that she very nearly fell asleep. But before her mind finally closed off, she heard him whisper into the room.

"Okay."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Making the decision not to marry Nate was one thing; telling her mother and getting her to agree was another thing entirely.

Eleanor was set to return Tuesday. That meant she had a day to prepare some kind of defensive plan.

"I have to do it myself," she told Nate on Sunday night.

When he protested, she explained, "It's the only way this is going to work."

If they tried to present this decision to her with the both of them, still in their semi-couple state and trying to explain that it was the mature thing to do- they would never win.

She had to beg, and plead, and hope that groveling in such a pitiful state would touch the impenetrable recesses of her mother's heart. And it wasn't hard to work herself up to that level of emotion- because she _really_ did not want to get married in two weeks.

She waited on the couch when her mother arrived. Eleanor stepped out of the elevator, carrying a medium-sized travel bag and looking frazzled. Not exactly promising for persuading on her most important life decisions.

"Mom," she tried to start out brightly. "How was your trip?"

"Good god, I don't know what is going on with the fashion world today," she exclaimed, practically throwing her purse at Dorota to take. "I've never paid so much for Cambodian silk in my life!"

She strode over to where they kept a fine bottle of brandy and poured herself a sizable glass. "How was Bart and Lily's wedding?"

Blair cleared her throat a little. "Eventful."

Eleanor nodded, probably not really listening to her daughter's reply and made her way over to the sofa opposite Blair. "Well, don't worry, dear. I know you haven't been very active in the planning of it, but you will have a wedding unlike any other's. Bart may have a lot of money, but your mother has taste- which is entirely more important."

Blair watched her mother as she picked up the paper for a few seconds, working up the courage to speak her next words.

"Actually mom, that's what I wanted to talk with you about."

Eleanor was getting her glasses from their case, and did not even raise her eyes. "Mm?"

Blair had a game plan for this. The only way this was going to work was if she was penitent, beseeching. She could not make demands; she had to plead a case. If that didn't work, well, then she would take an extended trip to her father's in France.

She took a deep breath, pressing her hands unconsciously to her rounded stomach. "Mom, I don't want to marry Nate."

There was a tangible silence following her declaration, and it may have been this more than her daughter's words which alerted Eleanor to the seriousness of the matter. She slowly raised her head to look at her. "Excuse me?"

She held up her hands in front of her. "He missed one of our ultrasounds for a basketball game- our first one! And he gets all of his information about the baby from his friend. He doesn't tell me anything."

Her mother slowly slid off her glasses. "These are called fights, Blair- misunderstandings," she explained drily. "Marriages are filled with them."

Blair shook her head. "It's not just that; I don't-" she looked down and whispered. "I don't love him anymore."

Eleanor made an exasperated sound and stood up to start pacing. "You've been in love with him since you first met him- since the party I had for one of my first lines and you followed him and Charles around all over the house!" She pointed her finger at her daughter. "You know what this is, Blair- this is cold feet. Everyone has them, though I never thought _you_ would for getting married to Nathaniel."

Blair twisted her fingers in her lap, feeling her tears coming on. "Mom," she began in a small voice. "Why did you marry daddy?"

Her mother's eyes narrowed and she folded her arms in front of her. "He was very charming and handsome," she defended. "And our families got along very well."

Blair still kept her eyes on her lap. "And why do you think he married you?" she whispered.

She knew she was treading on very dangerous ground. They hardly ever talked about the divorce or her father leaving her mother for a male model.

She couldn't quite raise her eyes enough to see her mother's face but she could see her fists tighten in what must have been offense at her question.

She watched her mother's feet move and heard the hard slamming of her shot glass on the foyer table.

She swallowed and finally looked up. Her mother was angrily swirling her brandy in her hand, looking to the side. "Would you put me in that situation, knowing what you know now?"

Eleanor sharpened her eyes on her. "Nathaniel is not gay, and whatever happens, you'll never have to feel that injustice done to you."

She shot back the rest of her drink and began walking towards the stairs.

"And you can bet if I had been pregnant with your father's child, I would have still married him!" she called out without looking back.

Blair stood up from the couch. "His father ran from the country," she announced, sounding a little desperate. But it finally made her mother stop. "His mother's in hiding and their family's name is ruined."

Eleanor paused for a few seconds, then finally climbed up the rest of the stairs, saying nothing.

Blair slumped down on the couch again, her tears flowing freely now. In her mind she made half-hearted contingency plans for getting out of the country. But then, this made sense didn't it? She'd always been a daddy's girl, and as she had just tried to show her mother, he would understand not wanting to be forced to marry someone. Still, she would have liked her mother to be around during the later months of her pregnancy, if only because that's the way it should be.

She had just decided on the date of her departure when her mother came back down the stairs.

When she reached the bottom, she barely glanced at her daughter. "Do what you want," she told her in an even voice. She then raised a finger at her. "But you're going to find a way to get rid of all the food."

Eleanor flipped out her phone and pressed a button. "Hello? Yes, I need to speak with my lawyer..." Blair heard her trail off as she walked to her study.

She decided to hold a party for her mother- it was officially for the success her spring line had had, but really, for Blair, it was only for her mother. It would be held at her house and they would use the food they had ordered for her wedding there. Unfortunately, the earliest she could schedule it was on the same day as the day she would get her test results back.

Nate insisted that he would come this time. She agreed reluctantly, and on Friday they made their way to the doctor's. She didn't have anything to worry about him coming obviously, the only way to use the results for paternity was if you had the DNA of the father to compare it. She was only slightly apprehensive of finding Chuck there, waiting with a bag of his blood ready to be tested.

But then, she hadn't seen him since the day of his father's wedding. Nate didn't talk about meeting up with him, though she hadn't allowed herself to ask. Perhaps she had done too much and he had finally run away.

She entered the building in a rather depressive mood. It wasn't lifted even when they didn't have to wait long, or when Nate placed his arm around her waist as they walked.

It was only five minutes after they sat in the doctor's office that Dr. Morgan came in.

"Hello again, Blair," she greeted, with a smile on her face. She took in the person sitting on the chair next to her patient. "And this is?" she asked, obviously remembering her mistake last time.

"This is Nate," Blair said simply.

Nate sighed a little exasperatedly. "I'm the father," he corrected, holding out his hand to the doctor.

"Ah," Dr. Morgan gave a short nod, shaking the boy's hand and then turning back to her patient. "You're looking good, Blair. You've gained a healthy amount of weight, I see."

She nodded.

"And you're at about 26 weeks now, definitely within the range to see the baby's sex on the sonogram. I actually know it from when we took the amnio test, but I figure you guys want to see it." She began clicking on the buttons for the machine next to Blair.

"How were the results?" Blair asked, raising her shirt off her belly.

The doctor squirted the cold clear gel onto her belly, keeping her eyes on the screen ahead of them. "We can go over that afterwards. For right now..." she moved the stick on her belly, looking for the best angle. "I can tell you that you're going to have a boy."

Blair felt Nate take her hand and he leaned over her, staring at the screen. "Wow," he murmured. "A boy."

Blair watched in fascination the image on the screen in front of her. The baby was getting so big now, she could more easily see its shape in the black and white shapes. She had not thought too much about the sex of the baby, but when she had, she had always pictured a little girl- one she could dress up in the prettiest clothes and do her hair. She probably should have been a little disappointed, but at the moment, the realness of her baby overshadowed any feelings of dissatisfaction. And besides, she could dress up a little boy too...

The doctor printed out a picture for them and Blair held it in her hands. She then brought out the instrument to hear the baby's heartbeat. She pressed it to Blair's stomach and the room was filled with the sound of a pattering sound.

"It's so fast," Blair murmured. It reminded her of a hummingbird's wings.

She shifted her eyes to see the doctor looking at her watch, her mouth moving as if she were counting the beats.

"Is it too fast?" she asked with sudden trepidation.

The doctor removed the instrument and turned to gather some papers from a file on her counter.

"As a matter of fact, that's what I need to discuss with you two," she said, and both Blair and Nate shifted closer, eyes widening. "As I informed you before Blair, the amnio test checks the cells that your baby has shed in the amniotic sac for genetic diseases and infections. Everything looked great except for some of the tissue we found from the heart. And when I just took the heartbeat of the baby now, I noticed it's a little fast."

Blair felt as if her whole body was frozen. In one second she had gone from feeling fairly peaceful about life to feeling like her whole world was crashing down. Even she could not anticipate the depth of emotion this news brought out in her.

"What's wrong?" she choked out.

The doctor brought up a hand. "It's nothing too big. Sometimes these things even out as the baby grows. The typical infant heartbeat is between 120 and 160. Yours is 175, so it's just a little fast. But like I said, from the test results, we may have reason to consider things more." The doctor took out a pen from her pocket. "Do you have any incidence of cardiac disease in either of your families?"

Blair turned to Nate who shook his head. "I don't think so."

Dr. Morgan nodded and began writing something down on a notepad. "I'm going to give you a list of some of the more typical genetic heart conditions, and I want you to ask your family members if there's been any occurrence of it. Because the truth is we can't actually detect what type of disorder is happening- if there is one- so the best option is to look for genetic similarities."

She finished writing and handed the small paper to Blair. "The first one is arrythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia, or ARVD, which has the highest incidence. Followed by..."

The words drifted off in Blair's mind as she took this in. She could barely believe what was happening and she shut her eyes as if that could block out the words.

The doctor assured them that should they find anything, they would receive the highest care and consideration. Blair and Nate both walked out of the hospital on slightly shaky legs, but made it to the cab. They sat back on the seat and stared forward.

"Do you know of anything like that in your family?" she asked after a moment.

He shook his head. "No," he said, but pulled out his phone. "But I'll start calling now."

He had to leave a message for whatever relative he'd called, but was hopeful that he'd get a call back soon. They had arrived at her house and by now, the party she'd held for her mother was in full swing. When they stepped from the elevator there were swarms of people, as she had not just invited her mother's friends but also many of her school friends, whom she'd told would also be a party to celebrate the ending of the school year a few days ago.

She spied Serena with Jenny and her old group of friends. Serena waved at her, but she didn't feel like talking to her just yet. She made her way over to the food table and began putting things on her plate.

"Hey, Chuck," she heard Nate call out and she turned with trepidation to see him standing with his father. Both had glasses of alcohol in their hands.

Nate put his arm around Blair's waist and led her over to the pair. She saw Chuck's eyes focus on Nate's hand and then shifted his gaze away, swigging the last of his drink.

"Mr. Bass," Nate began cordially. "How was the honeymoon?"

"Just fine," he answered sedately as ever. He then turned to her. "How is the pregnancy going, Blair?

Blair felt a moment of embarrassment. It was just strange to have her parent's friends talk so casually about her illegitimate child.

"It's fine," she replied politely. "I just had a doctor's appointment today."

"I see," he nodded, taking a drink from his glass. "And have you found out whether it's a boy or a girl?"

Blair ducked her head, very aware of the other person a part of their conversation. "It's a boy."

Nate squeezed her a little with his arm. "We also found out about a complication." The sound of a cell phone ringtone filled the air, and he looked down, sliding it from his pocket. "Excuse me," he said and walked away, flipping open the phone.

"What did he mean- a complication?" Bart asked.

"The baby might have a genetic heart condition. Something like," she brought out the folded piece of paper from her pocket so she could read off it. "ARVD, Marfan, Turner, or William's syndrome-" she shook her head, feeling more anxious as she read the names off. The less she had to think about it, the more she could believe that it wasn't happening.

Blair tucked the paper away, looking up to see Bart looking to the side with an odd look on his face.

"How strange," he commented, sounding as if he were talking to himself.

Both Blair and Chuck stared at him.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

Bart turned to his son. "Arrythmogenic Right Ventricular Dysplasia. It was what your mother died from; the pregnancy exacerbated it." He turned back to Blair. "But, that's odd; it usually runs in the family." He shook his head and walked away.

It was like a thunderclap had sounded; like something had erased all sound from the room with that single proclamation. Chuck could only stare at Blair for a moment as the implication of his father's words made the connection in his brain. When she nervously turned and started walking away, it finally propelled him into action.

He grabbed her arm and began leading her to an empty nook of the hallway. His movements were rough and unsteady with his shock, but he didn't see how he could manage that. In the back of his mind he could hear her small protests, but he ignored them. He brought her up against the wall, placing both hands on the side of her head so she could not escape.

"It's mine," he declared, and for fuck's sake, he was trembling.

"Chuck," she began in an even voice, placing her hands firmly on his chest as if to restrain him. Her mouth opened to say more but faltered.

"It's mine," he repeated and damned if his eyes weren't stinging. He didn't care.

"Chuck," she said again, but this time her tone was softer. The hands on his chest curled on the lapels of his jacket and her eyes dropped down.

He leaned even closer to her. "You know I'd be better than him," he rasped. "You know it should be us together."

Her face was crumpling and tears were escaping from the corners of her eyes. She shook her head, her eyes still trained on the floor.

Chuck took a deep breath, and slowly cupped her face in his hands to bring her eyes level with his. "You think we'll fuck it up because we'll be like our parents. But it's _because_ of them that we'll be better. We'll try harder because we don't want to be like them."

She could barely look at him from the way her tears kept flowing. But she gently raised her hands to cover his and kept them there.

"You knew all this time, didn't you?" he realized slowly.

And finally this enabled her to speak. "You broke a condom and you didn't even notice!" she defended. "It's your own fault!"

"I'm going to be really fucking pissed at you for that later on," he warned her with a raised finger. "But for right now-"

He dove in and kissed her. It had been so long for the both of them, but it seemed longer for him. The minute that his lips touched hers it was as if he had not been breathing all this time and suddenly air was pumping through his lungs. Like his veins had been dry and now were filled. Like his heart had been dead all these months and now had been resuscitated back into life, more vibrant than ever before.

And she responded to him in a second, in fact, there was never a time when he was simply kissing her. She met every kiss, bringing her body close to his, threading her fingers through his hair. He brought his hands to her waist, closing them over her form as tightly as he dared. It was as if they wanted to close the distance that had separated them for so long; like any space between them was too much.

It seemed like a flash of light burst through their eyelids which finally woke them from their moment. Blair broke off and looked past his shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

"Come on," she whispered, and walked forward towards the stairs. He followed, and no one seemed to notice them as they both climbed the staircase and made their way to Blair's bedroom.

When the door was shut, he began striding over to her once again with an intense glint in his eye.

But she backed away slightly, holding her hands in front of her. "I still don't trust you," she warned him.

He quirked an eyebrow and kept walking forward. "You think I trust you?"

He closed his arms around her again and his lips were centimeters from hers when she slid her hand over his mouth to stop him.

"Tell me why this is going to work," she demanded.

He slowly removed her hand from his lips and pressed his forehead against her temple so that she could not see his face. His hands slid down to cup her belly and when he spoke, it was so low that it barely reached her ear.

"Because this was _my_ dream."

He felt her raise her hand to his heart, which was pumping madly. She placed her other hand to the side of his face to bring it back to her view. And neither could speak anymore, but what was revealed in their eyes spoke volumes.

But the moment was broken with the sound of the door opening.

"I don't believe it."

They turned around to see Nate standing in the doorway.

Chuck released Blair and brought up his hands. "Nate-"

But he didn't get to finish more than that as Nate came charging at him.

The two fell on the bed with Nate wrapping his hands tightly around Chuck's neck.

"You slept with her?!" his voice rang out in the room. Chuck tried to remain calm and did not attempt to dislodge his friend from choking him.

"Look, can we talk about this without your hands around my neck?"

"You selfish bastard, I ought to kill you," he muttered tightly but released Chuck to stand up. This made him turn to Blair.

"And you!" he yelled, pointing a finger at her. "All this time I've worked so hard- I did everything for you! And you were sleeping around behind my back!"

"That's not true!" she protested shakily.

"Oh really? Then why did Jenny Humphrey show me a picture she took of you two all over each other downstairs? Why did she tell me that you and Chuck slept with each other before we got back together?"

Blair was crying again, with her hands covering her face, and couldn't form a response. Chuck walked over to her and unconsciously put a hand on her stomach.

Nate's eyes widened. "It's not even mine, is it?"

Both he and Blair stared at him, and what he saw in their faces must have confirmed it for him.

His face was full of betrayal and his eyes were starting to water. "You knew this whole time, didn't you?"

Chuck brought up a hand in front of his friend. "Wait a second, Nate-"

But he backed away, shaking his head. "I want nothing to do with either of you," he declared.

Blair walked forward, her hands clasped in front of her. "Nate," she began in a voice full of tears, but he only kept backing up towards the door.

"Just stay the hell away from me!" he yelled and quickly strode from the room, slamming the door on his way out.

Blair stood still for a moment, the only sound in the room her short sobs. Chuck was frozen as well, reeling from the shock of what had just happened. Finally, she walked over to her bed and laid down on her side, facing away from him as the sobs continued to rack her body.

He was unsure for a moment as to what to do. A part of him told himself to leave, if only to give her space that she needed. But he recognized that this part came from his old insecurities.

Now that he knew, he had to make sure that he never left her again.

So he carefully slid on the bed next to her, his fingers barely brushing against her side. "Blair?" he whispered in a cautious voice, though even he did not know what to say.

And she did not speak, her body shaking and still choking out sobs as she lay there. But after a few seconds, slipped her hand back to claim his and brought it around to enclose her rounded belly.

He breathed a sigh of relief, and edged his head right behind hers, so that his nose could bury itself in the scent of her curls. He closed his eyes and tightened his fingers around her own.

He had imagined what this moment would be like for so long- how he would feel. A part of him had always thought that, even after getting what he wanted, he wouldn't be able to take the pressure and would run away.

That's what he had done less than a week ago. When she had fled from him at his father's wedding, after feeling the baby move under his hands, and he had followed only to see her run straight into the arms of Nate- he had wanted to abandon her. So he did. He got on a plane and headed straight for Europe.

But the days that followed were like torture. All he could think about, even in his intense anger, was how she was doing, how the baby was. And he couldn't forget the test results that would be coming back from the doctor.

So he'd come back, and swore that it was only to find out if he was the father. He'd force her to give her consent and then he would finally know.

Now he did, and he wondered if he would revert back to his old methods of running away when he wasn't totally sure about something.

And certainly there was fear. But the sense of need overpowered the insecurity. Blair and- _his child_- needed him to be here. He belonged with them. He had an irrevocable place in their life.

He knew a part of her was crying for Nate now. And that was okay.

Because he was holding his family in his arms now.

A/N: So I have a name for the baby that I'm pretty set on, but I thought I would ask for suggestions just in case. Also, is everyone okay with some M ratedness next chapter? :D

Merry Christmas!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Wow, 37 reviews for the last chapter. Thank you guys so much!

Chapter 11

He woke up before she did. It was a surreal moment at first, taking him a minute before he could recall what exactly happened and what had caused him to end up in Blair Waldorf's bed with his arms around her. But when he did, he closed his eyes and squeezed her a little tighter to him. The sense that finally he had gotten everything he wanted overpowered him, and the only thing he wanted now was to prolong this moment further.

But reality had to return sometime and he should at least know what time it was. There was still sun showing through the curtains of her window, so they couldn't have slept that long. He carefully slid his hand into his pocket to retrieve his phone. The clock read 6:28, so they must have slept for about three hours.

Two new text messages showed and he opened them, though he was fairly sure from whom they would be for at least one of them. And he was right.

The picture that Jenny Humphrey must have showed to Nate earlier was displayed for all of the world as part of a gossip girl blast. It was fairly dark and not the clearest shot, but visible enough to see him and Blair locked in a kiss.

**Everyone wondered why Queen B called off her wedding to her white knight one week before. Looks like we have an answer now: she just couldn't say no to a dark prince. And that's not all- my tipster tells me this affair started way back in December, perhaps the same time that B got preggers? So then the question is... who's your daddy, baby Waldorf?**

The second message was another blast from gossip girl, also accompanied by a picture. The image showed Nate angrily walking out of the Waldorf's gates.

**Just minutes after our secret lovers not-so-secret liplock, the spurned fiancee storms out of the castle! Looks like a little birdie told him what was up (actually, I know exactly who). Is Nate abandoning his child, or simply giving Chuck his rightful place? All we know is that we haven't seen C or B since... So start the search party!**

**XOXO**

Chuck sighed. He wasn't going to deny that a part of him was grateful that the news would be out now, but of course this venue was not the kindest.

There was so much to do. This was a major downside of them having kept their affair secret for so long, since everything would come as a total shock to people. Most especially their parents. He had to tell his father; and she- good god, she had to tell Eleanor. He was pretty sure that she had the worst end of the stick. He wasn't entirely sure what Bart's reaction would be but he was sure it would be less apoplectic than Eleanor Waldorf's would be at being informed that her daughter's illegitimate baby suddenly had a different father.

It would be difficult, no doubt about that. But when had this ever been easy? Now that he knew it was his, there was just nothing that could make him turn away from them.

Well okay, if she ran back to Archibald he would demand custody and make her life a living hell. But who wouldn't?

He felt her stir at his side and he placed his phone back on the tabletop. She would learn everything soon enough, but for right now he wanted to enjoy this moment a bit longer.

She opened her eyes blearily, and he watched as her mind went through the same slow reprocessing of the situation he'd gone through when he'd awoken. By the end of it, her eyebrows were set together in tension, but he was glad to see she did not start crying again.

She swallowed and her voice came out hoarse from her sleep when she asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost 7," he answered. He noticed the space between them, which he did not like, but he was a little cautious of the state of her mind right now.

She nodded, looking down at the edge of her pillow. "Is the party over now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't really heard anything."

She continued looking down, picking at her pillowcase. "But I'm sure everyone knows by now."

He said nothing. There was no way to keep it hidden anyway.

She sat up finally and stretched her arm out to grab her phone. He watched her as she read the messages, saw her shoulders stiffen. When she closed the phone, she immediately slumped back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was glad again to see that she was not crying, though she looked far from happy.

He didn't know exactly what to say, so he blurted out, "Gossip girl is a fucking bitch."

She gave a slow nod, but an awkward silence followed for a minute, and he became aware that it was not really the thing to say. So, after a moment's indecision, he inched a little closer to her and asked, "What do you want to do, Blair?"

She closed her eyes for a second, then turned on her side to face him. He noticed that the movement had drawn her a little closer as well.

"I don't want to be here," she muttered, staring at him, and from the look on her face, she must have thought the idea futile.

He raised himself up on his elbow, his mood lighter because now he had an answer. "So let's get out of here."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How?"

He shrugged. "School is out; summer has started. We have no reason to be here- why not take a vacation?"

Her hand slid down to her belly. "It's not like we can just jump a plane, Bass. I'm not supposed to be flying anywhere now."

He shifted closer to her now, her lighter tone enabling him to feel more confident. He placed a hand on her stomach as well. "I'm glad to hear that you put some of those baby books to good use," he said with a smirk. "But, as it happens, we don't need a plane to go to the Hamptons."

He had the satisfaction of seeing her eyes light up a bit at the suggestion. But it was soon after mottled by a frown. "But, we can't leave without telling our parents."

He felt just as much dread as she appeared to at the prospect. "No, unfortunately we can't." He swallowed, and strove for a more easier tone. "But we can avoid them for as long as possible afterwards."

She almost smiled, but still looked filled with apprehension. He stood up and helped her to as well. "Look, get Dorota to pack some things for you and we'll leave within two hours. I'll go tell my father now, and when I get back we can tell your mother."

He tried to be reassuring, but as he turned to leave she grabbed onto his arm, and her face showed a cautious desperation. "You better come back, Bass."

He drew back to give her a light kiss. "You better be here when I come back, Waldorf," he returned.

When he walked out, it was to a silent house, which he was rather grateful for. Obviously all of the students body of Constance Billard must know now, but he didn't know how much had trickled to the parents of the UES. And, he had to admit, he did not want to face Eleanor Waldorf alone right now. When the elevator dinged open, he saw Blair's maid pop her head out from the kitchen doorway.

"I believe Blair needs you now, Dorota," he told her, gesturing upstairs with his chin and then stepped into the elevator.

And now he had to tell his father. He knew that at least his father wouldn't have the same reaction as the Archibalds and Waldorfs had had- forcing their children to get married. Though- well, that wouldn't be the most horrible thing to happen in Chuck's mind now. But other than that, he really didn't know what to expect from his father. He supposed the worst might be that he only complained that he had interrupted him from signing the final paper of a business deal.

He was only slightly rigid as he walked to his father's office. He had come back from his honeymoon earlier that day and had only been forced to go to the Waldorf party because of Lily's insistence. He knew without a doubt that his father would be back at work the second he could after his week-long absence, even if it was a Friday night.

He opened the door to find his father behind his desk, looking through some files. He looked up when Chuck closed the door behind him, and he could see the slight surprise on his father's face before he quickly turned back to his papers.

"Now is not really a good time, Chuck. I have a lot to catch up on."

Chuck walked right up to the front of his father's desk. "I figured." He cleared his throat a little. "But there's something I have to tell you."

Perhaps it was the seriousness, the hesitancy in his son's voice which made Bart finally glance up at him. He laid down his pen and leaned back in his chair. "So say it."

"At the party earlier-" He had wanted to be strong and sure when he said it, but he found himself staring at the floor, putting his hands in his pockets. "What you said about Blair's baby, the thing is," he took a deep breath. "It's mine."

He watched his father take it in, and for a long time he only narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. "This isn't a joke, right?" he finally asked.

Chuck restrained himself from rolling his eyes. "No."

His father stood up and walked over to the window, facing away from his son. He let out a long breath.

"I was so surprised at the wedding- at your speech." He shook his head. "I should have known something like this would have followed it."

Chuck said nothing, feeling his ire rise immediately.

Bart turned back to his son. "Well it's too late for an abortion; I hope you know that."

He narrowed his eyes at him, his hand twitching. "Of course I do."

"Then," Bart strode back over to him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "What are you planning to do about it?"

He could hear in his father's tone the skepticism, the surety that whatever his plan was- it was the coward's way. He stood a little taller and set his jaw. "Take care of them."

His father rubbed his jaw. "Well, let's sure hope you keep up with that," he said a little drily. He got out a shot glass and began pouring. "Because this isn't just going to go away, Chuck. And the mother isn't just some model or call girl, she's Blair Waldorf. We can't just keep her quiet with checks in the mail every month."

Chuck tightened his hands into fists at his sides. He was beginning to feel outrage boiling in his stomach at his father's words. He wanted to say how this situation had been the center of his world since it started; that he'd fought hard to be at the place he was now; how he'd almost cried when he finally knew that the baby was his.

But these were all things that you should never reveal to a father like Bart Bass. Because he would view them as something weak.

"The important thing is the child," his father continued, pacing back and forth in front of him. "You may not realize it now, but progeny is very important. We need to ensure that everyone knows its a Bass. Are we absolutely certain that it's yours?"

"Yes," Chuck bit out, not keeping the venom from his voice anymore.

But Bart did not appear to hear it. "Well, I'll order a paternity test in any case." He set his shot glass back on his table. "And then, there's the matter of your mother's sickness. I'll get the best doctors on it. We weren't prepared for things back then, but now..."

Only now did Chuck feel grateful for telling his father about all this. He felt bad because, in his happiness at knowing that the baby was his, the possibility of sickness he now knew it had had escaped his mind for awhile. He looked down and when he spoke it was softer. "Thank you."

A silence followed which told him that it was time to leave.

"Well, I'm taking Blair to the Hamptons tonight. I just wanted to tell you before we left." He began walking towards the door.

Before he could reach it, his father called out one last time.

"Chuck." He turned around to see his father standing once more behind his desk. "Try not to screw this up, alright? I need you to take this seriously."

The words angered him more than anything else, and not only for the patronizing tone in which they'd been uttered. It was because his father had no idea the hell he'd gone through these past few months- the ways he'd stretched himself thin just to take care of the girl and baby he hadn't even been totally sure was his.

"I do," he agreed in a tight voice. "And I'm going to be a hell of a better father than you ever were," he shot out in only a slightly more quiet tone before he turned and left.

He had told the front desk when he'd first come in to send someone up to pack clothes for him and send it to the limo immediately after. When he stepped outside, they were loading his suitcase into the trunk. He told Arthur to return to the Waldorf residence and then slipped onto the pleasantly cool leather seats in the back.

Perhaps he should have expected no less from his father, but, surprisingly the situation had brought out the inexplicable optimist in him. Well, never again. He swore right then and there that he would never be like his father.

When the limo stopped on fifth avenue, Chuck had calmed himself once more. As much as was sufficient anyway.

He stepped into the house to find Dorota standing in the foyer. "Go," she whispered, quickly ushered him up the stairs. "Miss Blair waiting for you."

She was dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at her side when he opened the door. She looked up and he could read the slight surprise in her eyes at his return.

"Ready?" he asked, stepping forward to take her suitcase.

She stood up. "Yes, let's go."

Dorota was waiting for them when they reached downstairs. She took the suitcase from Chuck and nodded towards the room across the foyer.

"Your mother in her study," the maid said, and from her tone, she knew the shit storm that was about to go down.

He saw Blair straighten her shoulders and, without looking back, walked forward. She opened the door and stepped into the room.

Eleanor was sitting in a chair, one hand covering her face as she leaned on it. She did not move or make any kind of signal that she registered there presence in the room.

When the silence became too unbearable, Blair spoke up.

"Mom, I need to tell you something."

Finally she moved, leaning back into the chair, raising her face to the ceiling, though still shading it with her hand. "I already know," she muttered.

Chuck grimaced, suspecting that she would have heard the gossip already. Trust Wasp mothers to be just as quick as their daughters in the telling of sordid affairs.

"Mom-" Blair began in a small voice.

"I have tried," Eleanor cut in, finally dropping her hand from her face to stare at her daughter. "I have tried over and over again to be understanding of your situation, Blair. And every time you just push it further and further."

He watched as Blair's hand tightened into a fist, but she said nothing.

Her mother looked over them, probably noting Blair's traveling jacket. "You're going? That's what you're here to tell me, right?" she asked impatiently, then turned away. "So go. I need you to go away for awhile."

"Ms. Wald-" he started, but she cut him off.

"I don't want to hear a word from you, Charles."

She stood up and walked over to the window, not turning around when she spoke.

"I will talk to you, Blair," she said in a sedate voice, then drew in a deep breath, "when I can again."

Blair hurriedly turned around and he saw the upset on her face. She passed right by him, heading straight to her maid waiting at the elevator. He stayed where he was until he saw her disappear.

"You might want to be there for your daughter when she becomes a mother herself," he advised tightly. "And you should know that it was because of me that this all came out like this."

It could be true. If he hadn't been so impassioned in the moment; if he hadn't only dragged her to a corner of the hallway to bring out the truth, this could have happened in a slightly less scandalous manner. Whatever, he just knew that Blair had been taking enough blame from her mother.

"Oh I have no doubt about that," Eleanor agreed in a low voice. She turned to view him slowly. "In fact, I am entirely sure that a_ll_ of this is your fault, Charles. Who else would get my daughter to do such things?"

He felt anger at her words, of course. He'd never really been ashamed of his reputation before, but he sure was paying for it now.

"I won't deny it," he answered in a low voice.

"Listen to me," she said, striding forward closer to him. "You had just better stay with her," she warned him. "If I find that you've abandoned her in a few weeks, days- believe me, you won't be gone for long."

He very nearly gulped because he could see that she was quite serious. Of course, it was a completely pointless threat, but still... she had obviously not made the same threat to Nate otherwise he would have never left.

"You can believe me or not, but that will never happen," he told her quietly and finally walked out the door.

By the time the elevator had reached the bottom floor, his anger was nearly boiling over. Everyone should just be amazed that they were competent human beings at all having been raised by parents like theirs!

He opened the door with a jerk and sat down in the back seat where Blair was sitting. He told Arthur their destination and leaned back on the seat, closing his eyes.

It was like they wanted them to fail. Yes, it probably was not every parents dream to have their high-school aged children get pregnant, but being as they couldn't change the situation- wouldn't it be normal to be a little more supportive, more understanding?

Fuck them- as if he and Blair didn't have insecurities enough about their ability to be parents anyway! It was causing chaos in his mind and he hated them for that. It had taken him so long to be at the point he was now- of believing that he could do it, and now their words were trying to tear down his belief.

It was silent in the car for several minutes before Blair finally spoke up.

"How did things with your father go?"

"Great," he answered tightly. "Just great."

"Oh," she muttered.

He glanced over at her, and saw the angry set of her jaw, her downcast eyes, the way she sat right up against the door, as if to run away at any time. It was then that he realized he was being an ass- like his father, and he'd just been swearing how he wouldn't be like that. In fact, perhaps that's how he should think of all of his interactions with Blair and the baby now- just do the opposite of what his father would do.

So he sighed and raked his hands through his hair, then turned to her.

"What are you doing? Get over here." He grabbed her hand and slid her across the seat until she was right next to him. Her body was stiff against him but he kept his hand in hers.

She looked up at him warily. "Well, I didn't know if you would want to..." she defended angrily.

He tucked a hair behind her ear. "Well, I do want to."

She finally relaxed into his side, but still looked slightly perturbed as she glanced up at him.

"Chuck Bass is a romantic..." she murmured, irony evident in her voice. "Who knew?"

He tilted her chin up, bringing her mouth right up close to his. "Now _you _do . That's all that matters." He touched his lips softly to hers.

With slow, gentle kisses he seemed to lift her mood, and by the time she pulled back a cautious smile appeared on her face. "So, where are we staying?" she asked with a bit of a sparkle in her eyes.

"Well, one of the perks of being Lily van der Woodsen's new son-in-law is that I get access to her summer house there. Is Serena planning on going there for the summer?"

Blair's brow furrowed. "I don't know. I think she planned on it..."

"Well it's a big enough house anyway. Just warn her there will be frequent screams coming from our bedroom if she wants to visit."

She said nothing but gave him a half-disgusted, half-amused look.

He took some time to make some calls, one to get the security code for the house from Lily and then for some preparations he wanted done. He was going to do this right- he was going to prove everyone wrong about him and make sure that Blair never doubted her choosing him again.

Her head was lying on his shoulder by the time he was done, which he enjoyed much more than he would have thought. He could tell she was close to dropping off completely, but before she did, she murmured sleepily, "Do you really think we can be different from our parents?"

Chuck leaned back, letting his head drop softly on top of hers and closed his eyes.

"God I hope so."

They slept the rest of the way, and though Chuck found it immensely appealing to have Blair resting on him like that- her head lying on his shoulder and their hands intertwined between them- it was not exactly the most comfortable. When they arrived it was still early morning, so they merely had his driver drop off their things and then sank into the large comfy bed of the master bedroom.

When Chuck woke this time, Blair was already awake. He had opened his eyes to find hers staring at him, and they were looking at him in a way he was unaccustomed to, until she quickly smoothed out her expression.

She snuggled closer into her pillow, closing her eyes. "Thank god Lily knows about Egyptian silk."

He looked over the room, not having seen it properly when they'd arrived during the night. The décor was light and summery, as it should be since that was the only time the family used the house. There were huge windows extending from the floor to the ceiling covering one whole side of the room, with a veranda outside overlooking bright greenery. He glimpsed a long pool on the lawn as well.

"Thank god Lily knew to marry Klaus, and gain this house when he died," he replied with a smirk. "And thank god we get to have it all to ourselves."

She smiled lightly, staring at the ceiling. Then her expression sobered. "I'm so glad to be here- and not in Manhattan right now," she murmured.

He began softly tracing his fingers up and down her arm, in an effort to relieve stress, and watched her eyes close in pleasure at the movement.

"I happen to be glad you're here as well, Waldorf," he replied a little drily, as if it were the biggest understatement in the world. Which for him, it was.

Her head shifted to look at him, and then she slowly smiled. A soft, genuine smile that he didn't think he'd ever seen on her face before. Not even with Nate.

It was the perfect moment for a kiss, so he leaned over and his lips were just about to touch hers when she sat up suddenly.

She turned to look at him her, eyes slightly wide. "I'm hungry," she announced.

He frowned a little because he was hungry too, but he was sure she was talking about something else. But if she was hungry, then the baby was too. And now he could finally monitor her eating all he wanted so she would definitely reach a healthy weight.

So he sat up, and got off the bed. "What do you want? I'll have the cook bring us whatever we want in bed."

Her eyes seemed to get wider. "No, no," she protested, shaking her head. "I want to go out."

He could tell she was acting funny, he just didn't know why. In fact, he was getting very slightly hurt that she was avoiding any and all romantic moments with him on their first official morning of being together. He finally let out a long breath, but tried to keep his tone light. "Okay. How about Nick and Tony's?"

She got up out of bed and walked over to one of her suitcases on the floor. "Sounds good; I just need to change first."

She didn't move, only looking at him as if she were waiting for him to do something.

Chuck just stood there. "So?"

"So," she said, shooing him with her hand. "Get out of here."

That was when he knew why she was acting weird, or at least, he got a hint of it. Because during practically all of their secret affair together, Blair had become very comfortable about her body with him; teasing him in all of her naked glory often. So this sudden modesty was simply ridiculous from her.

He turned back to sit on the bed, placing his hands behind his head. "You just said you were going to strip," he drawled, a smirk widening over his face. "So, by all means- proceed."

She placed her hands on her hips. "Be a gentleman and give me my privacy," she ordered primly, pointing to the door.

"Be a lady and take off those dirty clothes," he leered, grabbing onto her arm and pulling her towards him onto the bed.

She tried to jerk away but was unable to break free from his grasp. She fell on her back onto the bed with a gasp, which was quickly stifled by his mouth. Her lips were resistant at first as well, but with his coaxing, they melted and she began kissing him back fervently.

Her hands were in his hair and her lips were clinging to his and Chuck Bass was one hell of a happy man. Looks like she had been hungry for the same thing he was afterall. His hands drifted downward to the edge of her dress and slid under.

"No way!" she protested, scooting away from him across the big fluffy bed. "The first time we have sex again is not going to be when I'm six months pregnant!"

He was already hard and it should have been obvious to her, because- he wasn't going to lie- he had been blessed by the penis gods. He had been aching for this for so long and she was going to blueball him in a second if she kept up with this any longer.

"Blair," he started, sounding exasperated and then released a long breath, shaking his head. "I don't think I can describe to you how very attracted I am to you now." He took her wrist and raised it to his lips. "Let me show you."

She looked wary, but kept still while he crept toward her.

"All this time," he murmured as he unzipped her dress.

"All I've thought about," he raised it over her abdomen.

"All I _dreamed_ about," he slipped it over her head.

"Was this."

She was left in her bra and panties, and she placed her arms immediately over her stomach, as if to prevent him from seeing it. She looked down at her chest. "My boobs?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He smirked, allowing his fingers to play with the edges of her bra. "Well, yes I certainly did think about them often. But, more than anything, I wanted to see this."

His fingers slid slowly down her chest, pushing her covering hands aside, to finally rest at her rounded belly.

He let them circle around the tight skin gently, marveling at the sight and feel of it. "You have no idea how much..." he murmured.

He looked up to see her eyes wide as she watched him. But as he was about to lean forward, she seemed to shake herself out of it and began shifting towards the edge of the bed. "Well, there you go; you saw it."

His hand latched onto her shoulder before she could get off.

"I know you want it too, Waldorf," he growled, closing his arms around her form."Besides I haven't had sex in a _really_ long time."

She tilted her head back to look at him in shock. "Why?"

He raised a sardonic eyebrow and eyed her ruefully, as if it were her fault. "They weren't you."

He could see it in her eyes as her last bit of resistance melted and she turned around in his arms to claim his lips with her own. There was no reservation anymore and he was nearly overwhelmed with the way she drew him in, tearing at his clothes in her rush.

"My, my," he commented as he unhooked her bra. "Looks like I wasn't the only one missing this."

She answered only with a moan as his hands cradled her breasts in his hands.

He brought his head down to the now fairly large mounds and let his tongue trace a slow circle around her nipple. She gasped, clutching at his head with her nails.

"Did you dream about this?" he murmured against her soft skin, then taking a gentle nip at the pink tip.

She arched her back, unconsciously offering him more flesh. "Yes," she breathed.

He looked up at her, but her eyes were closed in bliss. The single word made his heartbeat quicken.

"How much?" he pressed, dropping winding, open-mouthed kisses along her rounded abdomen.

Her fingers were massaging his scalp now. "All the time," she sighed.

He couldn't help but grin a little as his mouth continued his path down her body. When it reached the apex of her thighs, he slowly drew down her panties, and asked, "Did you want me?"

He watched her face, seeing each time his breath against her tight curls ran a shudder through her.

"I- I-" she faltered.

He drew himself away slightly. "Did you want me, Waldorf?" he demanded.

Perhaps it was the sudden rush of cool air against her, or simply the change of tone in his voice, but she opened her eyes and stared at him. "I wanted you," she murmured.

It probably shouldn't have been a surprise to him and yet it was. He had never had such honest answers from her, never such affectionate responses, and he reveled in them.

He rushed up to capture her lips in his own and it was like few kisses they'd shared before. He could feel her heart pounding against him, and the beat was almost synchronized with his.

She pushed at his shoulders so that he lay on the bed, and raised herself over him. "But I _really_ want you now," she said with a wicked glint in her eyes.

He would have liked to respond with some witty reply, but she was already lowering herself onto him and he had to close his eyes to maintain control of himself. Because he wasn't lying when he said it had been a while since he'd had sex, and also, he'd never had sex without a condom before. And damn but it was marvelous.

She appeared to agree, her head dropping back as her hips slowly slid down to touch his.

"Ah," she gasped, squeezing her walls around him and running her nails down his chest.

"Shit, Blair," he breathed, his hands roving over her skin to land on her hips when she began to pump them up and down. "Fuck, that feels good."

It was amazing. Obviously he'd had a lot of sex before, and he supposed he could simply blame it on the fact that they weren't using any protection, but he didn't really believe that. Or maybe it went beyond that- because this was also the first time that they were opening up to each other, revealing more than just the flesh of their bodies.

Her movements grew faster and he knew he would be in trouble if he didn't get her off fast. His hand slid between her thighs and rubbed deep circles into her clit. Within seconds he could feel her convulsing around him, drawing him deeper and he sighed with deep satisfaction as he allowed himself to freely pump into her before releasing himself with a groan.

She slumped to the side and they lay gasping for awhile.

"Good to know," he breathed out as his heartbeat calmed. "That still works between us."

She stared at the ceiling.

He was almost afraid for a second that his performance had not been up to standard, when she turned on her side and stared at him.

"I was thinking," she began slowly. "We should establish some rules- so everything else works between us."

He had to admit, the idea did not immediately enthrall him. There was a reason he had avoided relationships all his life, and one of the main reasons was this kind of thing.

But this was different, and vitally important to his life now, so he had to try.

He raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

"Well," she started out almost reluctantly, then let out a long breath and stared at him frankly. "You really suck at communicating your feelings. All you ever do is just manipulate behind the scenes until you get what you want."

He was getting immediately mad. Where did she even get the idea to talk about these things after universe-rocking, total mindfucking post coital bliss?

"And you don't?" he shot back.

"Maybe I do," she allowed. "But not as much as you."

He raised himself up on his elbow to glare at her. "Oh, is that why it took you six months before you would admit to wanting me?" he asked sarcastically.

He could see her jaw clench and her eyes flare before she turned away from him, raising the covers over herself again.

Fuck, he was being an ass again. Granted, she was being a bitch, but the combination of the two was probably not good. What would his father do? Probably say something cruel and then coldly walk out of the room.

And he realized with a jolt that that was exactly what his natural instincts told him to do.

So he stayed in bed, and raised himself up to a sitting position and tried to think of a solution.

"Okay look," he tried after a few minutes of tense silence had passed. "Why don't you just tell me when I'm fucking things up and I'll do the same for you?"

She turned around, eying him tepidly. "But you'll get mad at me if I say that."

He slid down to her side, bringing his naked body next to hers. "No," he countered lightly, rubbing his thumb across her lips. "I'll be grateful that you're saying it to my face instead of planning ways to desert me and kidnap my child."

She digested this with a thoughtful frown. His fingers drifted towards her belly at the reminder and he watched the skin for awhile, hoping for any bump or kick.

"Chuck?" her voice finally broke him from his reverie.

He looked up at her.

"For the record- at this point," she breathed, burrowing against his side and closing her eyes. "You're not fucking things up."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

She had been in the Hamptons with Chuck Bass for a week now and it was just strange. Strange because it was becoming entirely too... comfortable.

She was cautiously optimistic about it all. Looking back on things now she saw that she had been wrong about him for so long- he had clearly shown that he was the more responsible one. And yet, even now there was still a small voice that told her not to put all her trust in him.

So for the first few days, when they went to bed, it always started out with her in his arms, at his insistence, and then when he had fallen asleep she would crawl out of them. Not because she didn't enjoy it; she found it extremely appealing actually- but then that was the problem. It was wrong to become too comfortable there because the voice told her that it would not last long. However, by the fourth day, her defenses gave up and she allowed herself to sleep the whole night in his arms and thereafter often woke with a smile on her face in the morning.

And then she had never lived with someone before. She and Nate had never gone on any trips alone together so she had no experience with this. All of those small daily acts that she never thought twice about in her own life now seemed incredibly significant, being on display for another person. She had never noticed, for example, the disgusting sounds she made when brushing her teeth, or the way erratic fluff of her hair between blow drying and being styled.

That first night in the Hamptons, she realized it had been years since he had seen her without make-up and so she had waited until the lights were turned off and his eyes were closed to step out into the bedroom.

Only when she was lying on the bed, her face cautiously turned towards him, did he click on the table light next to them.

"Goodnight," he said with a smirk, eyes roving over her face and then, just as quickly, turned off the light again.

She was stiff in outrage and mortification as he brought his arms around her, placing a soft kiss on her lips then closed his eyes and slept. And she stayed mad at him all night, until the next morning when he woke her up by calling her Sleeping Beauty in her ear.

Of course, what he'd actually whispered was "it's time for Sleeping Beauty to be fucked" but she understood the sentiment behind it all the same. And she could tell by the way he was straining against her that he meant it.

The very act of getting up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom was at first completely embarrassing for her because the house was totally silent and he would be able to hear _everything_.

But then all this was his idea wasn't it, and if he didn't like it then she should just send him running sooner than later, right?

She even left the door open as she went.

And when she came back, he merely closed his arms over her again, not even opening his eyes. After a few seconds, she turned in his arms and snuggled her nose into the crook of his neck to breathe in his scent. And it became just normal.

Of course she had to get used to his daily habits as well. He was surprisingly neater than she would have thought, which she greatly appreciated. Despite his lazy manners, his clothes and personal items were all kept in order.

He did snore, which she knew from the previous times they'd slept together, but having to deal with it every night was something different. She wasn't going to deny that in the beginning she wanted to stuff a pillow over his face for it either, but now she was getting used to it. It was almost comforting.

And she learned so much more about him. They'd kept busy with daily activities like going shopping, dining out, and the like but obviously they needed some occasional downtime. That was when she learned that Chuck Bass actually read. Not all of the time and they were only novels with lots of sexuality in them, but he did at times choose to read the pages of a book entirely of his own volition.

He took as much time as she did for grooming, and she actually liked this. It made her feel less petty. She also enjoyed that he demanded the best; when they went out to eat or while selecting things at a store- he made sure that they received only the highest and she loved it. Nate had always been a little too apologetic about their status in life.

Not that she could call it perfect. He still was not her idea of a gentleman. He could push her to her limits until she was infuriated with him, just to see her blow up about it. He _enjoyed_ seeing it; and should that really be acceptable? She couldn't control him and that was both aggravating and terrifying.

But she was slowly accepting that he was, indeed, a romantic. From that first day she had always been cautious of becoming too much like a standard couple for him. So it always took her a second to adjust when he insisted on holding her hand, or kissing her cheek, or playing with her hair. She had never thought to see him do such things.

Of course, such innocent acts were usually followed by a squeeze on her ass, a tongue on her neck, or a dirty name in her ear and then she knew it was him again.

She also soon after regretted their coming to the Hamptons. How on earth did she think he would stay with all of these girls in short summer dresses around?! Of course, he was always insisting how attractive she was to him, and she certainly saw in his eyes and other body parts how she affected him- but being the only fat girl in a sea of models would surely soon wake him up to reality.

It was especially true today when he wanted to take her to the beach.

"Out of the question, Bass!" she insisted as she brushed her teeth in the bathroom.

He sighed. "We're in the Hamptons- why wouldn't we go to the beach?"

"When I'm a fat cow!"

"You've been swimming in the pool in a swimsuit before," he reminded her of the night he'd dragged her into the pool on the front lawn. Technically her swimsuit did not stay on long. "What's the difference?"

She spit quietly and washed her mouth with water. "People will see me. All the skinny models will see me. All the skinny models who've slept with _you_ will see me."

He went behind her, closing his arms around her stomach and kissing behind her neck. "But you know how beautiful you are to me."

It was undeniable. Everyday in small words or looks he gave or simply the way he was constantly horny- she knew that she was absolutely attractive in his eyes.

But she didn't want him to be right so reluctantly she answered, "Yes."

He shrugged and stared at her pointedly in the mirror. "So who else matters?"

She was still frowning and so he walked away and then flung her new red bikini at her.

"Get dressed," he ordered casually before walking downstairs.

This was why he was not perfect. In fact he could barely be called a gentleman at all.

But she figured if he wanted to go to the damn beach so badly, she might as well comply. And when he left her for all of the beautiful models there, she could then say she had been right all along.

So she got dressed in the red bikini and put on a flowy wrap dress over it, large sunhat and oversized sunglasses.

He was waiting in his own beach-appropriate ensemble downstairs. There was even a nice basket of what she imagined to be snacks beside him he must have had one of the maids prepare.

Which irritated her even more because she would miss the little things like that when he was gone.

"Let's go," she ordered roughly and started walking forward to the front door.

It was a short ride over. They were only ten minutes from the beach by walking, but of course they would never walk. They'd acquired limo service over here as well.

The day was bright with only a few clouds crossing the sun's path on occasion. There was a warm breeze, although for Blair it felt a lot warmer with the addition of being pregnant. It would make it impossible for her to stay in her dress.

They picked a spot near enough to the water, and he laid out some towels, sticking a large umbrella into the ground next to it. She merely watched with a frown on her face, bag still in hand.

When he sat down, he looked up at her.

"Are you going to sit or what?" he asked.

She gave a small growl and placed her bag on the side, then, trying to stay under the cover of the umbrella, began untying the strings of her summer dress.

"That's right," he murmured, watching her as the dress slipped off. "Now take off the top."

She rolled her eyes from beneath her glasses and laid down, taking out a magazine.

And she had fully planned on ignoring him until she felt his hands rubbing lotion onto her skin.

"What are you doing?"

"Someone forgot to put sunscreen on," he explained as he rubbed it into her arm. "And it's not good for the baby when you're so tense."

She wanted to stay mad at him, but his fingers were really quite adept, and she did need protection from the sun. So she laid her head down once again and closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy it.

Until his hands went in places that did not need sunscreen.

"Keep your hands to yourself, Bass!" She slapped at his arms.

"Shh," he whispered, continuing his ministrations inside her bikini bottoms. "I'm just being thorough, Waldorf."

She would have further protested, but, as said previously, his fingers were very skilled. It was a job to keep her mouth shut. He had always encouraged her from the beginning to be vocal with him, so she was highly unused to needing to stifle her gasps and sighs. But when the big moment came, she found she couldn't keep in her ecstasy.

When she regained her surroundings, she saw him smiling at her like the Cheshire cat.

"Don't you feel so much more relaxed now?" he asked.

She slapped his face.

"I can't believe you made me do that!" She kept looking around them to see if anyone was watching.

He rubbed at his cheek. "When haven't I made you do that?" he grumbled.

She only glared at him, caught between outrage at his indecency and the pulsing aftereffects of her orgasm.

He laid back on his towel. "My turn," he informed her.

"If you think I'm going to do the same thing to you, Bass, you can think again," she said coolly.

He held up the lotion to her. "Do you want me to die from skin cancer, Waldorf?"

She gave him a look that said she did.

He flipped over so to expose his back. "C'mon, I can't do it all by myself."

"You're going to make your pregnant-" she swallowed the word in her astonishment. She had almost said 'your pregnant wife' and that was just disturbing. Of course, it was just a typical phrase she'd heard before, nothing more. "You're going to make me lotion you up while I'm pregnant?"

He merely closed his eyes, as if waiting for her to start.

She tried at first to only lean over him and rub the lotion into his back, but it was troublesome with her stomach, so she finally settled herself over his hips. He gave a little murmur of appreciation when she did, but otherwise kept his eyes closed.

When she had finished with his back she raised herself to get off him, but he flipped over then brought her hips down once more to connect with his. She felt immediately how her massage had affected him.

"Let go of me!" She tried twisting herself off his hips, but it was futile and he clearly enjoyed her movements.

"I want to see if you can do the same for me, Waldorf," he said, looking at her with a challenging glint in his eyes.

She glared down at him. People were around them- rich people, people who mattered. It may have been a beach, but it was a Hampton's beach, and that made it slightly equivalent to a country club. There were politicians, media stars, business men, and aristocrats on every side of them.

Which is why it would be _so_ satisfying to hear him lose control like she did.

"And you should know," he added, stroking a finger along her thigh. "I've never done this before at the beach. You'd be my first."

That sealed it for her right there.

So she took off her hat and sunglasses and gave a slow, devious smile. She poured some more of the sun screen into her hand and began rubbing it into his chest. As she did so, she began rocking her hips against his, feeling his erection press through his swim trunks into her still wet center.

His head rolled back and his mouth opened a little, but no sound came out. So she began rotating her hips counter clockwise, and let the strap of her bikini fall over one shoulder to expose the top of her nipple.

His dark eyes watched the bouncing circle as if glued to it. She leaned down to whisper some dirty words into his ear, scraping her breasts against his chest as she did so. She could feel herself coming close as well.

And then, because she had learned that he loved doing it, she placed his hands on her rounded belly, interlacing their fingers together.

A loud expletive was heard by all near them.

She laughed quietly as she felt him jerking against her. She could even see from the corner of her eye some people staring at them, but somehow two orgasms in the last ten minutes had freed her from really caring. She got off of him and went back to her magazine with a proud swing of her hips.

He lay there, with his hands beneath his head for awhile as she continued perusing different articles.

That was when her phone buzzed. She checked inside her bag to see that it was a blast from gossip girl. With trepidation, she opened the message.

**What's been happening with our favorite teen parents? B and C have kept things pretty quiet during their rendezvous in the Hamptons, but today they were spotted at the beach. B's looking large and in charge and according to eyewitnesses, the pair had a little too much fun under that umbrella. Just when is the little spawn going to be born anyway? And we still aren't sure if it's a Bass or an Archibald...**

The picture was, of course, Blair straddling Chuck on the beach.

They had been able to ignore and even avoid being the topic of gossip girl blasts for some time, but of course she would choose today to blast. Blair glanced over to see Chuck reading it on his phone as well, his brow furrowed.

"It's your own damn fault," she jeered, tossing her phone back into her bag.

He said nothing, still looking down at his phone.

"I just want to make one thing clear," he said, finally putting the phone away. "The baby is going to get my name."

She would have protested a little, except that he did look upset. She shrugged. "I assumed he would have your last name, anyway."

He shook his head. "No, I want him to have my first name too."

She gawked at him because he had never been quite so demanding before.

"It's not just your decision, you know!"

"He's getting my name, Blair," he stated, and this was the first time that he sounded cross at her. "I want everyone to know that he is _my_ son."

She took a breath and considered him. He really did look pissed off about this and, though it annoyed her, she could admit now that it was also endearing.

"Everyone knows that anyway; gossip girl is just trying to create drama," she countered lightly, rolling her eyes. "He's already getting your last name. But the name 'Chuck' has never been aristocratic enough for my tastes anyway. You're rich and I'm rich so he needs to have a rich-sounding name." She readjusted herself and began again in a more haughty tone. "_I_ like 'Alexander', after the emperor Alexander the Great. He was the greatest conqueror in the world, and that's exactly what my baby is going to do."

He only looked at her, his brows set.

"Alexander Bass- don't you think that sounds nice?"

He mulled it over. "I'll give it to you as a middle name," he offered reluctantly.

She raised herself onto her elbow. "Well why don't I give _you_ Charles as a middle name?" she retorted.

They had a stare-off contest for a few minutes.

"Fine. I know how to solve this," he told her. "Let's have a bet."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You want to have a bet over the naming of our child?"

Even aggravated at him as she was, she had to admit, saying those two words did strange things to her stomach.

He had a look in his eye that told her he had been similarly affected. It eased the tension that had built up inside him over the last five minutes. He brought her hand up to kiss the back of it. "How about if you don't gain over 40 pounds by the end of the pregnancy, he's going to be Chuck Bass II."

She sputtered for a few seconds. "That's just ridiculous! The doctor said I only had to gain 30 pounds!" She was already up to 23 so far.

"Up to 40 pounds, I believe she _recommended_-" he said smoothly, his lips continuing their trail down her arm. "And I think this is one of those scenarios where it's safer to be on the heavier side."

"Ugh," she shuddered. "Don't use that word."

He only grinned back at her, and she took a few seconds to consider it.

"Fine," she agreed at last. She held up a finger at him. "But if you so much as _look_ at any other woman in an inappropriate way, he'll be Alexander."

He did not look worried at all actually. He shrugged lightly, and stuck out his hand. "Deal."

She took his hand and shook firmly, but he pulled her in immediately and sealed her lips to his. "Let's close this deal _properly_."

But she put a hand on his chest to stop him from going further. Because she had learned that she could not trust her hormones around him anymore and gossip girl certainly did not need more fodder from their beach trip alone.

"Wait a second," she protested. "Since we're on the subject, we should establish more things about the baby."

He drew back and she thought she saw a small smile creep on his face. "Okay."

"Well," she began a little hesitantly. "What are we going to do when school starts again?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, how are we going to split up time between taking care of the baby?" she asked cautiously. She didn't know yet how much she could trust him to take care of the baby. Reading facts in a baby book was one thing, but having to change a dirty diaper yourself was another thing entirely. Not that she was looking forward to it herself.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asked, sounding severely confused. "We're going to live together."

She gaped at him, faltering for words for a second. "In what strange universe would my mother _ever_ agree to that?"

"The one where we are rich and parents and can do whatever we want . Oh wait- that's the one we live in," he added drily.

Blair was not amused. "She's going to disown me or at least cut off my money. Then we won't be so rich now will we?"

"Well Bart wouldn't cut off my money- he didn't even cut me off when I got in trouble at that bordello in Shangha-" his words drifted at the look on her face. He cleared his throat. "Anyway, he wouldn't ever do it. He's good for that at least."

"Fine," she finally agreed. "So where are we going to stay?"

He shrugged. "What's wrong with the Palace?"

Blair frowned. She had never lived in a hotel in her life and had always thought it to be a little tasteless. Her son deserved better.

"Children who grow up in hotels are disorderly. Case in point." She indicated toward him with a hand.

He raised an unappreciative eyebrow, but pursed his lips as he thought about it. "Okay, so where would you want to live then?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say a house because that had always been her dream. She had never lived in a hotel but she had never lived in a house either- except when she visited her father's chateau in France. A house just always seemed proper and of course fit in with all of the old movies she adored.

But this was not her dream life anymore and if she put too many pieces in place, what would she do when they were all crushed?

"An apartment," she decided instead. "Just like I grew up. And we can all see how much more normal I am than you."

"Yes, because an obsession with showering is totally normal," he muttered.

This was because, as they were staying together, he had also found that she liked to take at least two showers a day.

"It's hot and I don't like to be sweaty!" she defended, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Don't worry," he whispered, edging closer to her. "I've found it to be quite useful in keeping you naked."

This was true. He usually attacked her before, during, or after her shower- completely nullifying the point of it. But she found that she did not mind so much.

His lips were about to descend once more onto hers, but she pushed back again.

"How many nannies are we going to have?"

He let out an aggravated sigh. "None."

She looked at him like he was insane. "That's impossible. We don't know what to do! We at least need one while we're in school."

"Okay, just during school," he allowed. "But after that we take care of him by ourselves."

She thought about it, then shook her head. "No."

He scooted closer and put an arm around her. "You said you wanted to be different from our parents, right?"

She frowned at the reminder. He of course had had nannies all his life because his mother had died giving birth to him. But then, both her parents had been alive and she'd still had Dorota since before she could remember. And though Dorota was lovely, she considered herself closer to her than her own mother.

And she felt like she would die before letting her son feel that way.

So she raised her face to see him watching her. "I can't believe this is coming from the same boy who used to refuse to put his own _socks_ on," she said petulantly.

He smirked. "Well, you should have thought of that before sleeping with the boy who used to refuse to put his own socks on." He went in for a kiss and she finally let him.

When they returned to the house, there was a blonde head lying on the front room couch.

"B!" Serena sprang up and went over to hug Blair.

"Great," Chuck muttered as he stepped out of the way.

"Oh, S!" Blair said, holding onto her friend.

Serena stepped back and shooed Chuck away with her hand. "Go away, we need to have some girl talk."

He rolled his eyes. "Happy to see you too, sis."

Serena watched him as he made his way to the stairs. Blair saw him turn back once and saw the slightest bit of apprehension on his face, as if he worried that Serena would coerce her to run away or something.

The minute he was out of sight, Serena turned to her. "Do you need to be kidnapped?" she asked in a whisper.

So he wasn't so far off the mark.

She shook her head at her friend, and led her to the front porch where they could talk.

She had realized of course that she had left without a word to her friend after that first gossip girl blast. She had thought about her, but hadn't quite realized that a week had passed by since it had happened.

So Serena demanded the whole story to be told and why Blair had just up and left without saying anything to her.

"It's not as if you didn't wait a week to come visit me!" Blair insisted a little primly.

Serena looked down, biting her lip.

"What are you doing in Manhattan anyway?" Blair demanded, suspicious now.

She took a deep breath. "I've been hanging out with Nate," she said finally.

One look from Blair was all she needed to catapult her into an explanation.

"Hey-" she brought up her hands in front of her defensively. "He's in a really bad place right now, and I just can't leave him all by himself."

Blair felt a twinge of guilt at hearing that, but more than anything, she felt surprise at how little it did affect her. She did not feel that old sense of wanting to protect Nate or comfort him. She merely felt sad that things had happened the way they did.

It was an unexpected feeling, so she continued to merely glare at her friend.

"Don't look at me like that! I'm your friend; I'm his friend; I'm Chuck's- well actually, I'm Chuck's sister now- _Oh my gosh!_ That means I'll officially be the aunt!" She started jumping up and down in her seat.

"Besides," she continued once her celebration was over. "From all those gossip girl blasts I've seen, you don't exactly look like you're in mourning."

Blair blushed a little at Serena's inquiring look. They had hardly ever talked about Chuck since what seemed a lifetime ago when her friend had tried to convince her to take a pregnancy test. She was sure that, more than anything, this was what Serena wanted to know about.

"So..." Serena wheedled out in an unsure voice. "You guys are... dating?"

Blair's eyes popped wide as she realized she had never thought about it. "I have no idea. We're co-habitating and I'm pregnant with his child. Does that count as dating?"

Serena pursed her lips as she thought about it, then nodded.

"But, you're happy?" she asked, looking at her keenly.

Blair sighed, looking down. "Surprisingly- yes."

And Serena seemed to accept it. They talked for a bit more and then went inside to get ready for dinner. When Blair stepped upstairs to their room, she found Chuck getting dressed.

"I made reservations," he said nonchalantly as he finished the buttons on his shirt.

She thought he looked very handsome in his suit and so she made her way over to help him put on his bow tie.

"Did you have a good time with Serena?" he asked.

She glanced up at him. He was considerably taller when she did not have heels on and she could not see his expression fully while he was looking straight ahead. But she could hear something in his tone that made her suspicious.

"Yes," she said cautiously.

But he said nothing, still looking at his reflection in the mirror.

She finished his bow tie, smoothing out the lapels of his jacket and looked over him with an eye of approval.

She was about to turn away when his arm wrapped around her waist.

He brought his lips right to her ear and whispered, "I'm happy, too."

She stared up at him in shock to which he only smirked.

"Did you know the window over the porch has great acoustics?"

A/N: We're getting into fluff territory right now, though it might not last forever. Also, as you can see, we've narrowed it to two names and I wanted to have a vote for which one you like best. Thank you!


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